POBB November 15, 2015

Pick of the Brown Bag

November 15, 2017

by

Ray Tate

Welcome to the Pick of the Brown Bag.  The bad news is that as of this writing the congenitally evil FCC Chairman Ajit Pai is revealing his blueprint to kill the internet.  

That's right.  You lodged your objection.  He ignored it.  You feel as if you wasted your time.  Don't.  It's your right to protest.  You have a voice.  Always protest.  Always resist.  

In the interest of fair play, I'm also going to say kudos to Donald Trump for saving the elephants.  His administration intended to lift a ban on elephants imported into the United States for disgusting people to hunt like foxes.  However, Trump, who knew nothing of this decision, personally intervened on behalf of the elephants.  I'm as surprised as you are.

Other good news.  Supergirl, The Flash, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow will be crossing over to fight the Nazis from Earth X.  Begins November 27th, and watch out.  Arrow will air after Supergirl on Monday.

The first of I hope many female Doctors will debut in the Christmas Special, "Twice Upon a Time"--scheduled December 25th.

What I hope to be the first of many Lorraine Broughton movies, Atomic Blonde debuts on Blu-Ray this week.  I'm listening to the soundtrack right now.

Anyway.  I'm here until the clock strikes twelve.  This week I review Aquaman, Batman, Bug, Green Lanterns, Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man, Superman and Thor.  We start however with the new book Dark Fang.  Oh, and as always, you can check me out on Twitter should you not have the time for the full review: #PickoftheBrownBag.

You may have guessed by the cover that Dark Fang deals with vampires, but what’s not so apparent is that the star of the show, nameless in the story but dubbed Valla by creators Miles Gunter and Kelsey Shannon, spent most of her vampiric days beneath the waves.

The idea dates back to the 1989 Doctor Who episode “The Curse of Fenric,” in which pollutants forced humans to adapt to the seas and evolve into Haemovores, which act as the name suggests.  

The concept of watery undead however can be traced to the 1977 Nazi-zombie film Shock Waves.

This history lesson isn’t meant to discourage.  Simply to anticipate objection by film aficionados.  Oh, Dark Fang isn’t so hot.  It’s just Zombie Lake with fangs.  No.  In each of these media, including Doctor Who, the water only served as passage for the undead or the means to exemplify their determination and invulnerability.  Gunter and Shannon create elegance in their depiction of a vampire that's one with her element.

Gunter and Shannon spatter Dark Fang with so many good ideas involving the sea.  If it stayed that way, minus some early bloodletting, this could have been a delightful all-ages cartoon.  However, man’s inhumanity to man forces Valla out of the sea and into a mature audience vein.  Dreadful pun.  I don't apologize.

For a brief moment in time, vampires were weepy, rueful creatures that devolved into sparkly fairies.  I like my vampires evil and deserving destruction—Christopher Lee’s Dracula.  Pragmatic—Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Truly good—Chelsea Quinn Yarbro’s Le Comte Saint Germain.  

Amoral.  A supernatural being that sees no kinship with humanity. Janos Skorzeny from Kolchak The Nightstalker fits the bill.  Though Valla's goal is good, she is a pragmatist and amoral creature.  She’s a predator, and she’s an interesting one.

I could begin the transition starting with something like: for more standard ocean fare the reader can hook Aquaman.  Except, despite the lack of vampires, Aquaman is full of surprises.  

Observe the cover.  I’ve been suggesting that Corum Rath who sits on the Throne of Atlantis is a thinly guised version of Donald Trump.

Note the casual sexism, the threats, the stupid haircut.  Trump and Rath could be brothers.  He fears Aquaman the same way Trump fears President Obama and Hillary Clinton.  On the cover we see the call “Resist.”  Too many dominoes fall for this to be a coincidence.

That said, Aquaman isn’t entirely political.  The story starts out with the rebels staging an attack, and what a pretty, stirring science fiction tableau it is.  Courtesy of Stjepan Šejić.

Rath’s forces benefit from the Silent School’s magic, and all would seem lost if not for the timely arrival of…

After much rejoicing, the rebels unite with Vulko who finally has it out, albeit gently, with the former sea-king and reveals his bounty from the vaults, guarded by specters of royalty past.  Mind you.  You shouldn't forget that Vulko started a war between Atlantis and the surface world.  He's responsible for countless death.  Maybe though, just maybe his imprisonment repaired the screw that loosened.

As Aquaman and Dolphin mingle with the opposition to Rath, Aqualad, or Tempest if you prefer, meets up with Tula at Aquaman’s lighthouse.  

Tula and Garth had a history until the monster Chemo murdered her in Crisis on Infinite Earths.  Reborn in the new 52, Tula is now a former warrior of Atlantis that Aquaman named regent.  It’s unlikely that Garth knows this Tula except as a passing acquaintance, and if there are any Garth/Tula shippers out there, they’re going to be disappointed.  Writer Dan Abnett is currently establishing a love between Garth and classic Teen Titan Lilith.

I’ll tell you.  Mera asked Garth to use his knowledge of Atlantean magic to penetrate the Crown of Thorns that surrounds Atlantis.  He acquiesced, but there’s a nasty surprise waiting for Mera as well as the reveal of a villain new to Aquaman, but that’s actually a throwback to a Silver Age nasty.  One of the few that killed and preyed upon the majority of the Justice League.

As in the classic Looney Tunes, Superman and Lex Luthor having failed to convince the Hunger Dogs that the other would make a splendid monarch for Apokolips, find themselves running together from Elmer Fudd.

When Lex absconded with Superman, he also netted the rest of the Superman Family.  Lois Lane managed to join the Female Furies.  Jonathan Kent makes friends with some war hounds that were on the menu of their former masters.  He takes the lion's share of heroism for this issue.  It's nonetheless damn strange.  A combination of Kirby goofiness and characteristic heroism evolving the plot naturally.  The result though is whacky.  I was waiting for the whacky, and it does not disappoint.

This all comes to a head when Kalibak shows up.  A major bonus.  Kalibak is one of those big dumb losers that are just dying to be smacked down by Superman.  I don’t think I stopped laughing once while reading.

And then, there’s Batman.  Having been stabbed in the back last issue, Batman takes a much needed break and lets his partner Catwoman Robin Hood the spotlight.

For any artist, this would be an amazing opportunity, and illustrator Joelle Jones doesn’t let it go to waste.  She choreographs a beautifully brutal sword fight pitting Selina against Talia.  Meanwhile, Tom King dialogues the whole ordeal with his characteristic humor, warmth and insightful thoughts on the Batman myths.  I’ll still not say what this whole thing is about, but I will note that Damien Wayne and Dick Grayson appear primarily for juxtaposed comic relief until Dick reveals something about Batman that wipes out his entire existence as Nightwhiner.  Fan-tas-tic.  Absolutely.  Fan-tas-tic.

A Big Red Dude that’s neither a Red or Orange Lantern seeks out challenge against our heroes Jessica Cruz and Simon Baz.  Tim Seeley writes the big fellow for bombastic laughs.

Did Jess just hit the fellow with a fish? Why, yes.  Yes, she did.  It’s not long before, Jess alerts Simon to the developments, but Simon is busy with a fizzling love life, also played for comedy.

While he did get sex, it's pretty clear that the Night Pilot was desperate.  I saw that Simon was going to fail epically at earning another date.  Did you?  He only talked about himself.  He didn’t ask Night Pilot if she had a nice time.  He didn’t even offer her brunch at their next meeting.  He simply implied booty call.  We all want sex, but let's respect the people we sleep with.  Poor form, Simon.  Poor form.

Simon joins Jess to confront Bolphunga, which sounds like a new dance craze, and they discover that the Big Red Skeeze had an ulterior motive that he could not mention.  

The plot grows even thicker when the strange woman appears in Bolphunga’s story but not the prison camera.  The Lanterns are in doubt, but the infamous lady reappears on earth, promising a more substantial threat for the Green Lanterns to face.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are searching for corrupt Nova Corpsman, and to that effect, they joined undercover.  Last issue, Gamora and Scott Lang, Ant-Man, encountered Ultron during a rescue operation that incidentally cleared their suspects.  In this issue, writer Gerry Duggan resolves the conflict using Scott’s lesser known abilities.

The application puts Scott out of action for the remainder of the book, but he is in good nauseous spirits.  Duggan moves the spotlight to Peter Quill who just discovered Rich Ryder the original earth Nova is alive.

Despite appearances, Peter’s happy that Rich is alive.  No, really, and once they’ve buddied up, they discover an off-the-books Nova site.  Surely this will yield the rotten fruit?

Duggan instead pulls a Fargo and introduces pregnant Nova Corpsman Eve Bakian.  A stand-up Nova who discovered something strange planetside.  Good solid adventurous issue of Guardians of the Galaxy with comic bits mostly centered around Gamora and Scott, for a change.

Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man offers a potent issue that really reflects the legacy of Spider-Man.  Originally, the police hunted Spider-Man as a vigilante, and now because of Teresa Parker, Pete’s maybe sister, they seek out both Spidey and his alter-ego Peter Parker.  

Teresa Parker discovered a program called Gray Sword in the bowels of SHIELD.  The program searches for the bane of Marvel heroes and villains.  Primarily though heroes.  She went to Peter with the evidence, and now Peter's association with Teresa forces him to repeat history.  

The thrilling story is packed with action, examples of Peter’s phenomenal spider-strength utilized in surprising ways and a demonstration of Gray Sword’s effectiveness.  In addition, a worm turns, and long animosity falls to serve justice.

Thor is just a big ol’ dukearoo pitting the War-Thor against God-Killer Mangog.  The art’s Kirbyesque, but the story’s fairly thin with sparse dialogue mostly characterizing Mangog.

Since its debut, Bug expanded on the threads left by Jack Kirby.  For those not in the know, Bug’s hero is Forager, a New God created by Kirby and killed off in The Cosmic Odyssey, an underrated post-Crisis mini-series.  In the new 52, Forager got better, met up with the Sandman, and started dimension hopping under the manipulation of a talking teddy bear and a terse little girl named Kuzuko, who in all likelihood isn’t a little girl at all.  

Each trip drops Forager into a new Kirby landscape or triggers his interaction with Kirby creations or Kirby influenced characters.  It’s no surprise that Bug would finally meet OMAC, the One Man Army Corps.

Another complete Kirby conception, OMAC relates the tale of mechanical enigma Brother Eye transforming Buddy Blank into OMAC to combat future evils.  To that rethink of Shazam!, Kirby crazily drew from elements of Phillip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, long before the novel became synonymous with Blade Runner.  The-Build-a-Friend plot device is ubiquitous throughout most of OMAC’s eight issues.  However, the way Kirby presented it can only be described as future shock horrific.  Sure.  You can have a sexbot.  Good luck performing after you see its parts and face boxed up like that.

Kirby seemed to definitively end OMAC prior to the title's cancellation.  However, Lee and Mike Allred find some unanswered questions to address in Bug.  The story opens with Forager using the baddie from last issue to force open another wormhole.  He, the teddy bear and Kuzuko journey to the world of OMAC where they immediately become embroiled in the Global Peace Agency’s fight against Skuba, the villain that seemed to overcome OMAC in his last issue.

True to his sobriquet, Skuba steals an ocean and almost kills Forager and Kuzuko in the process.  Our heroes learn of OMAC’s capture, and Allred plural begins uncovering interesting details that were likely plants in Kirby’s sprawling cosmos.  Allred is clearly positing that Kirby’s creations inhabit the same shared universe, and he makes good arguments.  In addition, the Allreds come up with a good explanation for Brother Eye, that can also be worked into the prevailing theory.  That Brother Eye is actually the Justice League Satellite.

For those not interested at all in continuity, not to worry.  Bug still bears the humor of Forager’s mental duel and repartee against the duplicitous teddy bear, Kuzuko outmaneuvering the bear, and Mike Allred's Kirby homage within his own style of illustration.  Furthermore, colorist extraordinaire Laura Allred makes Bug the most vivid comic books on the rack.