POBB February 28, 2018

Pick of the Brown Bag

February 28, 2018

by

Ray Tate

As expected the GOP got down on their knees to service the NRA’s cocks by deciding not to debate any measures on gun control.  

You shit-holes are going to be voted out by an angry generation that you abandoned.  Some are the survivors of the gun violence that you lot enabled.  They see you for the fuck ups that you are.  You are out of here.

Criminal-in-Chief Donald Trump after promising the Parkland victims that he would stand up to the NRA backed down by hamstringing President Obama’s gun safety regulations.

On the flip side, give some love to Dick’s Sporting Goods.  Dick's will no longer sell assault rifles.  They in addition raised the age limit for purchasing guns.  We also can thank Enterprise, Hertz, MetLife, Delta and United Airlines for hitting the NRA where it counts.

In happier news, this week the Pick of the Brown Bag takes on All-New Wolverine, Batgirl, The Flash, Lockjaw, Mera Queen of Atlantis, Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man, Rough Riders, Scooby-Doo Team-Up and new DC book The Terrifics.  Haven’t the time for the full dose of POBB goodness.  Check me out on Twitter: #PickoftheBrownBag.

It’s another perfect issue of Scooby-Doo Team-Up.  Scooby and the Gang take a holiday from ghost-breaking and have a picnic in Jellystone National Park.  Before you can say pork pie, Yogi Bear appears with a scheme to snatch Shaggy’s and Scooby’s gimongous picnic basket.

Sholly Fisch’s clever Yogi cons are worthy of the beloved moocher.  His meta gags are even funnier.  

The comedy portion in Scooby-Doo Team-Up is frequently laugh out loud and so varied.  The ghost is tailored to fit.

It seems a rash of picnic basket thefts set Mr. Ranger on high alert.  Naturally, he thinks Yogi is the culprit and may be behind the Ghost.

Yogi is not the culprit.  Indeed, Yogi though smarter than the average bear isn’t in Top Cat’s league.  Yogi may be a grifter, but he’s motivated by gluttony.  He doesn’t stack the plans like Top Cat.   

While Yogi can fast talk the foolish out of their culinary booty, he won’t go to such great lengths as faking a haunting to protect his stash of deliciousness.  Once tumbled, Yogi admits defeat or bids a hasty retreat.  That’s why despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, even the Gang appear to be on Yogi’s side.

The solution to the mystery isn’t quite fairplay, but certainly makes sense.  Fisch on the other hand well foreshadows the trap for the spook, and artist Walter Carzon captures the simplified cartoon design of Yogi Bear while amplifying the illusion of animation.

Lockjaw opens on the moon where the giant dog waits out Medusa’s and Black Bolt’s clothed canoodling.

The hound then visits Karnak.  Karnak recently metamorphosed into a sourpuss.  Nevertheless he still likes Lockjaw.  Who doesn't? Somebody without a heart.  That's who.

After a short tour of Attilan, the doggie teleports to earth where he immediately ingratiates himself to a small human.

Lockjaw loves humans and Inhumans.  He’s just an all around love-fest.  Surprisingly, Lockjaw does not stay with the earthling long.  It’s not that kind of book.  He moves on to his real purpose.

Lockjaw apparently has kin on earth.  Just by a happy coincidence, that canine lives next door to D-Man, short for Demolition Man.

Wrong Demolition Man.  D-Man is a goofy cross between Daredevil and Wolverine with a generic low-level Superman power-set.  Nowadays, he’s just got some wrestling prowess.

That said, helping Lockjaw take down some alien invaders out to kill an innocent puppy? Yeah, D-Man’s got that.

Although Lockjaw cannot be taken too seriously, the curiously named writer Daniel Kibblesmith and artists Carlos Villa, Roberto Poggi and Chris O’Halloran treat D-Man respectfully and give the antic a strong but plausible counterweight.

Tom Taylor takes a break from chapter-plays for a standalone in All-New Wolverine.  Laura Kinney is Wolverine.  Last year, she discovered the crazed individuals that created her also cloned sisters.  One of the bunch, Gabby, turned out okay.  Gabby lives with Laura and takes care of her.  

The story begins on a breeze that leads Gabby and her pet wolverine Jonathan to walkies.  All goes well until, Jonathan nearly tears Gabby’s arm off when he pulls her to a specific building.  Housing the scientists that turned him into the upgraded animal he is today.  

Gabby does the math, and she calls her friend Deadpool.  Due to his origin, a distant family member of the Wolverine Clan.  

Let the gleeful games begin.  Ryan Reynolds was the best thing to ever happen to Deadpool, and that’s who Taylor channels for the characterization.  Together, Gabby and Deadpool discover hilarious science fiction horrors and overcome them with the prowess you expect.

Wolverine begins to worry about her sister.  So, she tracks her down and discovers what’s been going on.  Wolverine is all about justice.  So, she’s in.

Taylor’s story injects new life into a tedious trope and comments on that chestnut’s characteristics in clever ways.  The camaraderie between Deadpool and Gabby is at once strange and sweet.  Wolverine joining the marshmallow roast neatly distinguishes her from the sometimes responsible adult that she needs to be where Gabby is concerned, and every panel is crafted with sublime care by Marcio Failla.

Peter Parker reaches its 300th issue.  If you’re wondering if that nap you took turned into a Rip Van Winkle the answer is no.  Not counting the one-shot magazine, the first volume of  Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man began in the mid seventies.  Marvel ceased publication of the title in the late nineties before reintroducing the book last year.  Is this ballyhooed issue special?  Possibly.

Teresa Parker, Spider-Man’s maybe sister, appeared at Spidey’s doorstep with information about Graysword, a SHIELD department headed by Agent Mintz.  The mission statement aimed to root out and exploit the secret identities and the weaknesses of superheroes.

Always be wary of those seeking the greater good.  Spock being the exception.  Teresa hid the incriminating data in her DNA, a trick I first encountered on Star Trek: Enterprise, and based upon the science of junk DNA.  

The consequences of Teresa’s bravery led to she being declared a public enemy.  Spidey of course followed his sister on the list, in both identities.

At the same time, Spider-Man uncovered what appeared to be a phone network for villains.  This led to avenues of mystery and surprisingly tied into Agent Mintz’s bend to save the world no matter how scorched by his actions.

Multiple guest stars added to the scope of Peter Parker and made the title almost thematically Marvel Team-Up.  The Human Torch, Ironheart, Karnak, Ant-Man, Black Panther, Hawkeye and the Falcon signed in.  This issue introduces another guest-star, who partnered with Spider-Man way back in the day, and it’s that team-up writer Chip Zdarsky references as he takes Spider-Man smoothly from the street to the stars.

In terms of tone, Peter Parker Spider-Man pretty much gets everything right.  It’s uproarious, and the characterization recalls the Bronze Age Spider-Man I grew up with.  Still a young hero but old enough to hand out some advice.

Ironheart’s loss of armor connects to the grand finale in which an arch Spider-Man foe unveils his ingenious ploy and a measured turnabout that grants him some surprising depth.

The third act of “Perfect Storm” doesn’t move forward with any great momentum.  The best comes from Wally West.  Flash arch-villain Abracadabra took Wally out of time and space while he stayed hidden under another guise.  In conjunction, unknown forces edited twelve years out of the New 52, and Superman’s timeline rewove.  Perhaps as a result from the pattern of temporal disruption, Wally returned from the great unknown.  However, only a few people know that he ever existed, first as Kid Flash then as the Flash.

Writer Joshua Williams and artist Carlos D’Anda creates the perfect feeling for a man out of time.  Wally is a true hero.  He accepts the abominable trick that his foe played on him.  He moves beyond it save Central City one citizen at a time.  This isn’t about him.  This isn’t about his own problems.  It’s about them.  Wally saves the lives of the people he loves even if nobody will love him back.

Dan Abnett’s Aquaman epic needed another book to hold all that’s transpiring beneath the waves.  So, Mera Queen of Atlantis debuts.  Despite genuinely focusing on Mera, the tale unfolds with former King Orm the Ocean Master.

Ocean Master is Aquaman’s opposite number.  At least he used to be until Geoff Johns reintroduced the character for the New 52.  Originally, Ocean Master was Aquaman’s fully human step-brother who used technology to become an underwater threat.  

Johns turned Orm into a full blooded Atlantean who is the rightful King of Atlantis.  That changed when classic Aquaman advisor Vulko pitted Atlantis and the Surface World against each other.  Aquaman defeats Orm, and Orm is eventually remanded into Amanda Waller’s custody.  During Forever Evil, Orm escaped and eventually fell in love with the human woman Erin.

Orm should be declared innocent of all crimes, however heinous.  He acted on behalf of Atlantis.  Although his actions resulted in countless deaths, he knew no more of Vulko’s scheme than Aquaman.  That’s moot.

When Abnett turns his attention to the title star, he does so in style.  The Eel is one of the more obscure Aquaman Rogues.  Somebody’s hired the mercenary to ice Mera.

Abnett uses the battle to commit Mera to reverie about her life and how it's now being used against her desires.  Much as in Royal history, Mera’s Xebel pure bloodline makes her the ideal choice to retake the throne.  I trust I need not explain the Trump-like imitator that now rules Atlantis.

Mera would like nothing better but to marry and settle down with Aquaman at the lighthouse on Amnesty Bay, while being a superhero in the Justice League.  That Justice League issue is another example of Abnett expanding the Aquaman Family’s role in the DCU.  Batman invited Mera to join the League without inviting her to join the League.  So, you know it’s legit.

Illustrated by Lan Medina, Richard Friend and Veronica Gandini, Mera looks great in battle and expressive in Abnett’s character study.  Queen of Atlantis fosters a different tone than Aquaman.  This book is all about duty, destiny and desire and how they sometimes clash.  It’s a gem on the Trident of Aquaman.

Hope Larson concludes her snow-shrouded Batgirl story with a satisfying battle against the Penguin and Son.  They’re on the cover.  They could have been a red herring, but come on, this isn’t really a spoiler.

The previous issue was a mystery, where Batgirl followed clues and attempted to solve a crime of obfuscation.  Somebody blinded the National Weather Service.  The technological tomfoolery allowed a snowstorm to sneak into Gotham.  The purpose, Larson reveals in this issue, and its a far-reaching doozy with ties to a classic Penguin gimmick.

Having been led on a wild goose chase, Batgirl relies on something more reliable than a computer her eidetic memory.  She maps out the streets to determine where a secret lab may be found.  There she discovers the creator of the McGuffin, her former Q Qadir.

Once she finds out what device Quadir fashioned, Batgirl determines the Penguin and Son are behind the whole white as snow forecast and aims to stop them.

Because of the nature of the device, Batgirl initially falls in line with other citizens of Gotham City.  Distance makes her mind stronger, and Batgirl opts for a direct confrontation.

Larson’s finally got her groove back.  Her characterization of Batgirl is spot-on, imbuing her with humanity and a fortified sense of justice.  Pitting her against the Penguin is a time honored Batgirl tradition, and the Penguin’s reinventions work in his favor.  Sam Basiri’s artwork is a boon for Batgirl.  Basiri uses multiple angles to energize the narrative while putting together an attractive snowy redesign of Babs Gordon.  He works equally well on detection as well as action, and the colors by Jessica Kholinne adding pink to Batgirl’s cheeks educe dimension and weight to Babs’ bone structure.  I won’t mention the green eyes.

The Terrifics are basically the Fantastic Four with Michael Holt aka Mr. Terrific as Mr. Fantastic.  Called to action when Simon Stagg opens a portal to the Negative Zone, or as DC refers to it, the Dark Multiverse, Mr. Terrific saves Ben Grimm now played by Metamorpho.  He enacts the rescue by activating the dormant Human Torch, Plastic Man.

Looks a bit different, doesn’t he?  Plastic Man apparently now wears a pair of horrid black bicycle shorts instead of his perfect classic costume.  

Ah, says you.  That’s only three FF members.  Where then is the Invisible Girl.  

Bgztl is Phantom Girl’s planet.  Tinya Wazzo is the Legionnaire’s real name.  Linnya is likely her ancestor.

With the team together again, for the first time, all we need to do now is enjoy the typical antics of the FF.  Doesn’t work.  

The relationship between Metamorpho and Plastic Man meant to accommodate the Ben/Johnny banter/bickering is forced.  Not counting a few Bronze Age issues of The Brave and the Bold, Metamorpho and Plastic Man never met until now, but they appear to be old rivals.  Furthermore, they never once had personalities similar to Ben and Johnny.

If you slog through the gobbledygook disguised as technobabble and the lackluster Fantastic Four imitation, you will be rewarded.  Although the characters appearing at the end of the book are an acquired taste.

The latest Rough Riders series takes place in 1906 when Alice Roosevelt married.  That sets the book about two years from the last Rough Riders adventure.  Tempers haven’t cooled.

Harry Houdini seeks out Teddy Roosevelt to use his connections and reunite the Rough Riders.  

Writer Adam Glass first honors Houdini’s status as one of the first debunkers of the supernatural.  He spins a yarn in atmospheric Pat Oliffe artwork that mirrors Teddy Roosevelt’s life.  Houdini however is no psychic.  He exploited fact to deduce the President’s history.  He employed the charisma of a bard to lure Roosevelt into believing the lie.

Houdini on one of his expeditions into the world of charlatans and parlor tricks uncovers a real supernatural threat that performs feats impossible for even the illusions of stage magic.  The fate of the world now rests on the Rough Riders shoulders.

Tensions are high in this series.  Thomas Edison is the Rough Rider most unlike his historical record, but this book never was meant to be a docudrama.  So, I've come to terms with Edison's bellicosity.  Edison meets up with Annie Oakley again.  Annie however is no longer the woman she was.

Had Edison used his genius to resurrect Annie Oakley because he was sweet on her, he might have gained sympathy.  She and the other Rough Riders discovered that she was Edison's experiment and nothing more.  

Of all the Rough Riders, Jack Johnson and Monk Eastman at the very least tolerate each other’s presence.  Monk still won’t shake hands with Jack, but he’s at least cordial with the boxer.  All these scenarios lead to the very interesting inclusion of a famed master of the occult.  Given this figure’s history I’ll be interested to see how he reacts to all the Rough Riders.