POBB June 27, 2018

Pick of the Brown Bag

June 27, 2018

by

Ray Tate

The Pick of the Brown Bag is stoked and running.  This week I review Charlie’s Angels.  Wait? What? Is it the seventies again? I wish it were.  Women would be united, pissed off and fighting for their rights instead of losing them on the road to Gilead.  

A group of meddling kids and their talking dog would de-wig the Orange Turnip and expose him for a common crook and real estate swindler.  He would then be put in jail by an undercover cop or FBI agent.

So, yeah, on the docket.  Charlie’s Angels and Scooby-Doo Team-Up.  I’ll take a peek at two Red Sonjas, one regular and one extra steampunk.  Last, I’ll critique the regular titles: Batgirl, Mera Queen of Atlantis, Peter Parker Spectacular Spider-Man and Thor.

“Oh, wow, man. 

Like I couldn’t even make it through the preamble.”  

Not to worry, Janice.  Lean, mean capsular reviews of the POBB can be found on Twitter: #PickoftheBrownBag.

Drink in that cover to Scooby-Doo Team-Up.  Scooby and the Gang meet the Justice Society of America. The very first cadre of super-heroes in the history of literature.  Only the Knights of the Round Table, from whence they get their decor, predate them.

Our story starts with the wisdom of Shaggy.  Shaggy will never unwittingly bring doom to the planet because he’s justifiably terrified.  When authorities reveal a box that sports the warning Do Not Open, in large, friendly letters, Shaggy demonstrates an intelligence honed by caution.

Naturally, the well-intentioned dummies open the box.  Were you expecting puppies? Well, you will be disappointed.  Demonic phantoms promptly pour out of the box.  

This is a rare moment when Scooby, Shaggy, Fred, Daphne and Velma encounter actual occult entities.  Although they're not in the Cthulhu range of power, nor even the Great Gazoo.  They still present a threat with their laser blasts, frightful appearance, possessive abilities and floaty defiance of physics.  Fortunately, Fate is on the kids' side.

To satisfy history, Dr. Fate transports the sleuths to the JSA’s time.  There they encounter the immortal Vandal Savage.  

Savage and his box of demons threatens the United States and serves the evil goals of the Third Reich.  Presumably Savage exploits the Nazis as a force to cow the planet.  Thus making his takeover as simple as pulling the trigger on Hitler.  So begins the backdrop of an accurate lesson in history.

As with their 1940s adventures, the JSA split up into away teams.  Scooby and the Gang blend with their mini-assault groups.  I like that the JSA don’t question the youthful detectives’ presence.  They just take Dr. Fate at his word.  This must be done.  

Our first clutch of heroes propel themselves to the airbase.

Here’s where writer Sholly Fisch’s study of comics and continuity comes into play.  Fisch uses John Byrne’s amendment to explain Wonder Woman’s presence in JSA time.  Hippolyta serves as Wonder Woman. 

Fisch could have employed the decidedly immortal Diana via Justice League animated.  I’m guessing since he saw the charming little girl Diana in Wonder Woman, the temptation became too great.  

Byrne’s method for confronting the consequences of the Crisis on Infinite Earths was remarkably elegant.  Even Roy Thomas’ solution was clunky in comparison.

Atom, Green Lantern and Fred next thwart the destruction and the theft of U.S. War Bonds.  Green Lantern, one of the most powerful of the JSA unfortunately gets waylaid.  

The creator of Green Lantern, Martin Nodell, based some of Alan Scott's facets on Norse mythology.  Nodell derived the green flame's weakness to wood from the legend of mistletoe and its lethality to Balder the Brave.  

Lantern does his part fighting the demons, but the Atom picks up the slack in Dario Brizuela’s fine rendering.  Atom and Wildcat were the human powerhouses of the JSA.  If a Nazi, you were most likely to be put in the hospital by either or both.

Next up it’s Dr. Mid-Nite, Dr. Fate and Velma attempting to sway America’s youth back to the tolerance train after Nazi and demonic influence take their toll.  

I love that Fisch and Brizuela pull no punches in this issue of Scooby-Doo Team-Up.  They very shrewdly show the true threat of the Hitler Youth Corps.  

A kind of toxic anti-Boy Scout.  Nevertheless, I’m surprised the Powers That Be permitted Fisch and Brizuela to present children as the enemy.  I guess they made an exception for Nazis and history.  Rightfully so.

Sandman, Flash and Scooby-Doo smack down some scrap metal thieving Nazis.  Fisch here takes the opportunity to introduce some general future shock.  

He also delights in turning Scooby’s weakness into a plus and humorously demonstrates why Sandman unlike GL isn’t exactly a dog fan.

Before the team reunite for the big showdown at the Capitol and Velma displays spectacular deductive reasoning, Black Canary, her erstwhile partner Johnny Thunder and Shaggy take on Nazi saboteurs.  Finally, Johnny gets some respect. 

  

This flawless issue of Scooby-Doo Team-Up is a must for fans of our friend Scooby and the JSA.  Though all-ages, it’s not childish and instead warns about the Nazis at a time when warning is desperately in need.  Do not let these fuckers back up.

Charlie’s Angels gets a lot of flack for being brainless but titillating entertainment, literally.  Having seen some of the original episodes of the show back in the day, I can say that it was actually modest fare.  The three stars were beautiful and ended up in bikinis, at times, but they wore sweaters, blazers and slacks for the majority of the series.  

The scripts weren’t up to Columbo or Rockford Files standards, but only a few were atrocious.  The series made an effort to emphasize the Angels’ detective skills, but The Avengers was far more groundbreaking.  

Critics also find fault in the premise.  Charlie is an unseen man directing women thereby undermining any well-meaning feminist message.  Feh.  

It all boils down to this.  If you strip away all of the gimmicks, Charlie’s Angels was a sometimes above average private eye show with professional female operatives.  Charlie’s the indisputable boss, but he’s not the lead investigator. 

The movies go above and beyond what the television series was.  Their perfect blend of comedy/drama/action will always be more entertaining.  This brings me to the comic book.

Charlie’s Angels is indebted to both forms of Charlie’s Angels.  The story stars classic Angels Sabrina, Kelly and Jill, and the hipness blooms from the films. 

The Angels seek to extract their new client from the debt of a gang boss who invested in his club.  The best way to do that is to catch our felon in a criminal act and hand him over to the police with the evidence.

The plan is a good one.  The Angels control the environment, and stay hidden in plain sight.  Sabrina’s magic act however goes awry, and all sorts of mayhem ensues.  The Angels however recover admirably.

The plan hits another snag, and the Angels go into action like they did on the television series.

Nah.  This never happened on the series but such was an overall fault with the standards and practices of the time.  Charlie’s Angels aired during prime time hours.  A nine-o-clock show could get away with much more than an eight-o-clock show.  Even Wonder Woman and Jaime Sommers or Steve Austin never hit anybody.  Their preternatural strength and respect for human life gave them an out in terms of plausibility, but really it was the time slot.

Layman enjoys a lot more freedom.  The comic book isn’t truly violent, but the Angels live up to the potential that was promised in the opening of the series.  The Angels react to the sexism of the seventies.  Kelly Garrett’s hilarious running joke of “I have a plan” and her anger imbues her with more spice than the series would have allowed.  The art by Joe Eisma openly animated presents some very emotional Angels that the series would have downplayed, and the occasions when the book goes full blown cartoon are welcome.

Writer Shawn Alridge and artist Scott Godlewski partner for a very good inventory issue of Batgirl that touches upon all the elements that comprise Batgirl.  She’s a Batman Family member and casts a dark shadow.

Yeah! Batgirl is a master fighter and only got better as time passed.  Here she’s beating on drug dealers.

Batgirl’s motorcycle symbolizes her the most.

She debuted on 1960s Batman with a distinctive chopper.  She gained her cycle in Detective Comics #363 in her second appearance and trick rode ever since.

Such a splendid introduction, and it only gets better as the plot develops.  Melissa, an old friend from high school seeks Barbara out to intervene on behalf of a classmate.

Babs suits up and begins her surveillance while remembering how she and Jacob share similarities.

Tailing Jacob lands her in a another fight, this time against Two-Face’s men.  Godlewski seems to be scratching an itch to portray Batgirl in action.  Scratch on.

The story takes a surprising turn.  You think it will be a tale of tragedy followed by a tale of mercy, but it’s not that kind of fancy.  Alridge portrays Batgirl as the most logical of the Batman Family, able to reach conclusions at a rapid pace and make decisions based on evidence not wishes.  This bestows a welcome harder edge to Batgirl, reflecting the top cop’s daughter and the pre-Crisis original.

Mera is the Queen of Atlantis in exile.  She already made overtures to the United States.  She attracted the attention of assassins and paparazzi.  

She battled the former king of Atlantis Orm, better known to comic book readers as the Ocean Master. 

Mera lost to Orm because of the injuries she sustained during her fight against Corum Rath, the usurper to the throne.  Ocean Master stayed from delivering the fatal blow.  That’s because Orm isn’t the same nutter from the pre-Crisis.  

A full blooded Atlantean, Ocean Master served as the lauded ruler of Atlantis, with his brother Aquaman’s blessing.  That changed when Orm flooded the surface world cities because he believed Atlantis threatened.  His point of view shaped by a conniving Vulko.  

After escaping prison, Orm instinctively saved the life of a surface world boy and fell in love with the boy’s mother Erin.  He was happy to be done with his former life.  His sense of duty however overrode his want for serenity.

After their battle, Orm allied with Mera.  Together they sought a treaty with Mera’s people, the Xebel.  However, the Xebel are traditional isolationists, even more so than Atlanteans.  

The ruler of Xebel Nereus loathes Mera, for disobeying his orders—slay Aquaman—and her independence.  Mera defied the arranged marriage between she and he.  Instead falling in love with Aquaman.  In this issue, Mera learns that she only has one ally in Xebel.

Leron is Mera’s martial arts teacher.  There’s a fine tradition of teachers favoring their students over everything.  Leron gives Mera the lay of the ocean bed she hasn’t visited in years.

With the somewhat mischievous, somewhat mad expressions artists Lan Medina and Norm Rapmund grant to Leron, he gains greater depths than the archetype.  He  becomes plausible as a Xebel rebel who doesn’t exactly brook with Nereus’ or grandma Lammia’s plans.  He's totally on team Mera, enjoying how his charge matured into a fine warrior.  Gender immaterial.

Some of these aims seem to inveigle Orm, but I’m not sold on his betrayal.  I might buy him screwing over Mera, for the throne.  Enslaving Tula, his half-sister, to an arranged marriage with a barbaric ass goes above and beyond even pre-Crisis Orm’s type of crazy.  This could be Orm’s last gasp at his previous life, but I’m finding it hard to swallow.

Orm’s scheme I’ll wager is a trident.  Orm wants to rid himself of his royal duty to Atlantis.  He wants to force the Xebel court to accept Mera as the sovereign queen.  Tula would have been pawn no matter the circumstances.  So, Orm decided to use Tula and protect her at the same time.  Mera almost beat him at half strength, and she grows more powerful with each second.  Orm must know she can beat him if suitably motivated, and only an idiot would have thought Mera would stand for a forced marriage.

Even if none of my ideas fruit, the plot twist is nevertheless surprising and it frees Mera from her new role as well as her old one, paramour to Aquaman.  Similar to her participation in the Justice League, the challenge to morality allows Mera to step out the shadows and be a hero.

The time traveling Red Sonja returned home, but not the usual moment after she left shtick.  Ages passed, and Sonja finds herself unremembered and nearly friendless.

As we learn in Amy Chu’s and Erik Burnham’s new Red Sonja story, Adin is cursed with immortality.  So, Sonja takes him on in friendly but no holds barred sparring.  Through that encounter, she learns the sword she now wields is pretty shabby compared to her beloved Hyrkanian steel.

A blacksmith tells her otherwise.  Red Sonja takes a page from Vampirella.  Red Sonja serves as witness while the smithy narrates the tale of Skath.

Don’t bother looking up Skath.  I already did it for you.  He’s a whole cloth creation, but not a bad one.  Skath in the narrative is a brave and noble warrior.  Alas, he makes a unforgivable mistake.

Despite Skath asking for forgiveness and entreating for peace, several bloody times, the unyielding Shem demand war.  So, Skath and his allies fight the Shem and theirs in a brutal and bloody skirmish that ends with Skath losing the sword Sonja discovered.

The brevity of the She-Devil’s appearance and participation makes Red Sonja impossible to recommend for her fans.  However, this is a good setup issue for the story to come, and you can do a lot worse than partake in the adventure of Skath.

Red Sonja fans may be more interested in the Legendary version.  Sonja is all over this final chapter in the latest miniseries.

The tale started innocently enough.  Sonja caught Boss Thorne cheating and beat a hasty retreat with her poker winnings.  She returned to The Nautilus, yes, that Nautilus and her loyal men.

Upon diving, Sonja picks up a hitchhiker with a tale of star-crossed love.  This proves to be a little more complex than Sonja first thought.  The girl Sonja saves turns out to be in love with Khulan Gath’s son.

Sonja’s involvement puts her in Gath’s line of sight, and here she learns that Gath intends to destroy the city with a nuclear bomb.

Sonja consults with Madame Curie, and the famous historical scientist gives Sonja a device that detects radiation.  Though pirate and thief in this world, mercenary in another, Sonja steps up to be the hero, saving the city, thwarting Gath for the very first time.

Marc Andreyko is no stranger to female heroes.  The creator of Kate Spencer alias the Manhunter, Andreyko throws Sonja into the thick of it, first fighting Gath’s magic and then his partner.  Sonja's most brutal and leaves somebody in the story stumbling with a broken jaw.

Sonja accomplishes these tasks with less difficulty than the more familiar model might have.  Sonja grew up in this domain.  She’s not just a time traveling visitor.  As such, she knows how to fight better because she encountered more techniques.  She’s also smarter than the other Sonja because of books being prevalent.

Still when it comes down to it.  She’s still Sonja and willing to make the ultimate sacrifice if it stops Gath from appeasing his dark gods and saving innocent lives in the process.  The thrilling adventures of the parallel earth Red Sonja continues in ways you cannot expect.

Thor now takes the form of a bizarre western.  Loki last issue teleported Thor and he to Niffleheim, the Norse land of the dead.  There, he’s reunited with his brother Balder and Tyr.  Hence the hilarious title, “The Odinson Boys Ride Again.”

Loki though recently in the apparent employ of Malekith, seems to switch sides.  Although dead ally Karnilla betrothed of Balder the Brave, and the Executioner have doubts.

Chances are.  Loki is on the up and up, or at least as far as he can be.  Loki stabbed Freya in the back just right.  The poisoned blade did not kill her.  It weakened her and kept her out of battle.  He didn't know the former Thor and probably felt he couldn't work with her.  He also may have originally sought some trickery in the alliance but soured as the war continued.

It doesn’t matter.  Just enjoy this absurd tale of Thor and the Asgard Gang planning a great train robbery.

If that doesn’t float your boat, perhaps the antics of Thor, Loki, Thori the Hell-Hound and the goat Toothgrinder will perk your interest.

Jason Aaron just loves writing Thor and defying conventions associated with Norse mythology, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.  The consequence is a laugh out loud funny book that also surprises with plot twists galore.

The events in Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man began in the past.  The Tinkerer, a lesser known villain from Spidey’s rogues gallery lost the one soft spot he had when a robotic alien scout he befriended died in a fire.  Since that moment the Tinkerer set up humanity for the invasion of the Vedomi, alien robots not in disguise out to kill humans and grant a.i. assimilation.

Most of the loyal free living robots and androids want nothing to do with the Vedomi plan, but these aliens don’t take no for an answer.

The preparation for invasion unfolded over early issues of Spectacular Spider-Man with the Tinkerer positioning himself to sabotage the heroes’ technology and securing information about them that gave him the edge.

At the same time Teresa Durand a minor Spider-Man character reappeared with a bombshell.  She had stolen the plans of Graysword, a rogue SHIELD operation that intended to discover the bane of each hero to use against them should the need or the money arise.  Teresa also had a personal reason for coming back for a visit.

As all these strands drew to a focal point, Spidey decided time travel was the only way to stop the whole shebang.  Being an experienced hero and time traveler, Spidey knew he could not change the course of history.  He could however find the information to stop the Vedomi in the present back in time.

Dr. Doom agreed.  He sent Spidey, Teresa and J. Jonah Jameson sidewise through time to a parallel world where they could retrieve the vital information.  Their mission a success, our heroes returned home but not before stopping in the future of that world where Spider-Man did not exist.  

The result shook Jonah to his core.  Already privy to some of Spider-Man’s secrets, Jonah realized how wrong he was to harass Spidey and how devastating the world looks without a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man to protect it.

With that future set right, Spidey and his Amazing Friends rejoin the resistance.  Black Panther retrieves the information needed, and with “great power, comes great responsibility.” Peter makes what he believes to be the ultimate sacrifice.

This latest chapter sets up the finale but it does far more than that.  Chip Zdarsky’s story gets at the very core of Spider-Man.  It bolsters his relationships with Teresa and Jonah.  The relationships in turn let him deal with his metamorphosis.  It’s just a remarkable issue that really convinces you that this may be the last you see of the web-spinner.