POBB March 27, 2019

Pick of the Brown Bag

March 27, 2019

by

Ray Tate

Hey there, lonely girl, lonely boy, it’s the Pick of the Brown Bag.  Today’s reviews include Batgirl, Black Widow, Fantastic Four, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Scooby-Doo Team-Up and Star Bastard the brand new title from Scout Comics.  No time for even this short POBB? Pop on over to to Twitter: #PickoftheBrownBag.

Dr. Victor von Doom used the Power Cosmic to empower Zora, a woman whom he re-dubbed Victorious.  Dr. Doom played with the Power Cosmic before.  

Years ago, Doom created a device to steal the Silver Surfer’s energy.  So in a way, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby foreshadowed this latest Doom gambit.

If you're new to The Fantastic Four and/or comics in general, you may not know that the Silver Surfer once heralded the arrival of a world-eater named Galactus.  Victorious lured a starving Galactus back to earth where Doom embedded him in the hills of Latveria.  His kingdom.

I’m a fan of Dr. Doom.  Few in the Marvel Universe can measure up to Doom's intellect.  That said.  I doubt that even he is capable of sustaining such a prison for Galactus.  Doom's setup is rife with pitfalls.  Right up front.  Giants don't need the Power Cosmic to break free from mountains. 

Before Dr. Doom captured Galactus he ordered everybody to stay out of his way.  The FF naturally defied Doom’s orders, and got themselves arrested for the courtesy.

Doom's incarceration of the FF requires additional failsafes.  Every one of them pedestrian.  For instance, Doom respects Susan Richards most of all.  I think he'd come up with something better than sound-waves to thwart her abilities.  Likewise for submerging Johnny.

I appear to be in the minority when it comes to enjoying the original Fantastic Four movies.  Tough.

Doom exploited freezing for Reed Richards in the first film.  He repeats himself this issue, although with a better budget.

So, on the whole, I found myself underwhelmed.  Then I thought what if Doom actually wants his captives to escape.  What if the entirety was merely a ruse? 

I think Doom knows he can’t keep Galactus at bay for long.  I think Doom knows that the FF will overwhelm his snares.  I think that the entire imprisonment is part of a scheme that is actually more worthy of Doom.  If I'm correct, then this isn’t a physical attack against the FF.  It’s a psychological attack on their cultural meaning to the world.  

Black Widow died during some Big Stupid Event.  Resurrected, she came back pretty damn angry.  She also for some reason cannot reveal that she’s alive.  Despite other heroes coming back from the dead and parading their resuscitation all over the place.

This secrecy likely makes Natasha even angrier.  She needs to kill something.  So, she goes to Madripoor, a sort of seedy island nation one might find in old comic strips like Terry and the Pirates and Secret Agent X-9.  Of course, in those strips, you would never get away with online child snuff movies, which is the basis of filmmakers Jen and Sylvia Soska’s Black Widow project.

Snuff flicks do not exist and never have existed.  Law agencies around the world investigated such rumors and found no proof of such things.  The Soskas being horror mavens certainly know this.  They also know the persistent legend is nevertheless ripe for exploitation purposes. 

Now, if a child snuff film core upsets you, and it should, let it be known that the Soskas and their artistic cohorts Flaviano and Veronica Gardini deal with the subject as tastefully as possible.  

Tyger, Tyger, the defacto ruler of Madripoor, seen recently in All-New Wolverine, hired the Black Widow to investigate the disappearances of Madripoor women and children that she traced to the online snuff show.  Black Widow first took out some pimps that she thought might be connected.  Alas, they were just pimps.  Then, she found a lead.  The lead draws her into the web of Madame Masque.

This issue of Black Widow is more in tune with the Marvel Universe.  While still ostensibly aiming the Widow at a horrendous crime that seems a little edgier than the MCU may be comfortable with, the story becomes more palatable by concentrating on the trappings that surround the abominable felonies.  

Black Widow contending against Madame Masque, seen on the cover, is a gold mine of continuity.  Iron Man introduced Black Widow as a femme fatale in the sixties.  When reformed, she became a frequent guest-star.  Madame Masque and Tony Stark were an item in the classic eighties Iron Man.  

The Soskas play the characters off each other with a nice dichotomy.  The Widow doesn’t really see herself as a superhero.  She’s a spy and assassin.  Madame Masque though once Iron Man’s ally returned to her organization where she became the crime boss.  So, we have two archetypes fighting each other.

They are not however evenly matched.  Last issue in absolute serial cliffhanger fashion Madame Masque shot Black Widow in the face.  So ends the Black Widow.  

Sure.  Natasha escapes by being a fan of another female superhero, in perhaps a meta-nod.  Within the span of a page Nat puts the kibosh on Madame Masque.  

Black Widow next uses her skills to assume Masque’s identity.  Once her facade is secured, she crashes a party of Marvel super and not so super villains.  

What they’re doing on Madripoor may or may not linked with the snuff films.  In the meantime, you enjoy the Widow’s frequently hilarious impersonation of Masque, a POV narration that highlights the dangers in her ruse and the return of a sometime hero/villain that may be a friend/foe to the Black Widow. 

I grew up reading comic books in the Bronze Age.  In that era, Barbara Gordon’s older brother was deep cover agent Tony Gordon.   

Previously mentioned in the Golden Age, Tony appears out of nowhere.  He saves Babs.  He returns to the shadowy world of espionage.  We never see him again.  He impresses by simply being a good brother who also dopes out that Batgirl is his sister.

The modern version of a Gordon sibling arrived in the post-Crisis at a time when I boycotted DC comics over Barbara’s crippling.  So other than Batman saving his life when a baby...

...I never experienced the majesty of James Jr.’s history, nor do I care to reexamine it now that Babs is back on her feet and kicking criminals in the face.

Gail Simone reintroduced James Jr. in the new Batgirl adventures for the New 52.  James Jr. was far too ubiquitous for my liking.  His arc was overall acceptable.  Junior was a minor psychopath on his way to the majors and ended by Barbara before he could become a threat. Simone intended for him to drown after Batgirl paralyzed him. 

DC saved James Jr. from Simone’s poetic conclusion.  The Powers That Be inducted him into the Suicide Squad.  So they fudged Simone’s damage.  The blow Batgirl dealt only became a throwing-bat eye-stabbing.  Otherwise, the boy could dance.

Newest Batgirl writer Mairghread Scott reintroduced James in a Batgirl Annual.  She isolated him from the rest of the population on his own island prison with multiple counteragents preventing his escape.  

Scott turned Junior from mere Jack the Ripper wannabe  into The Mentalist's Red John.  James acquired an inexplicable charisma that netted him like-minded killers that just needed grooming.  His ultimate goal we learn at the conclusion is to turn Batgirl into a psychopath just like him.

I don’t give a rat’s ass about James Jr.  Nevertheless I can tolerate him in a well-constructed story.  I don’t understand this current issue of Batgirl.  

Scott abandons her plans for Junior.  She releases the little emperor.  With new meds and a new lease on life.

Scott appeared to be laying the groundwork for a long game of bat and mouse between Batgirl and her brother.  The change in plot and tone is abrupt to say the least.

Batgirl’s reaction to the news isn’t good, which is to be expected.  Unfortunately, she vacillates into histrionics, and that’s just not Babs.  Babs would have prepared a contingency plan should James Jr. ever escape.  Instead, she behaves like a rank amateur and not an experienced crimefighting genius.  She also has green eyes.  Again.  This really must cease.

Ah, but perhaps this is a ruse.  Perhaps, James is as clever as Dr. Doom...Nah.  The whole reason behind Junior's change of heart seems to be tied into Batman: Metal.  

That’s even more rug-pulling.  Scott’s intent was down-to-earth psychological manipulation.  In keeping with the themes of her Batgirl run.  I probably wouldn't have cared.  Like I said.  I don't give a rat's ass about James Jr.  Yet Batman: Metal is multiverse chicanery.  I can’t see how it comfortably fits with Junior’s psychosis.

If I push this jerk of events aside, Batgirl still suffers, not just from sloppy melodramatic pap but also subpar artwork.

For example, when Babs confronts her father about James Jr.  Usually reliable colorist John Kalisz gets it in his head that it would be a great idea to swathe the scene in blue or red.

It’s not.  It just looks ugly, goes on for too long, and escalates the affair to over the top.

You don't get it.  It's the siren lights from Jim Gordon's prowl car.  Oh, I get it.  I don't want it.

When Babs faces her brother, he demands she talk to him as his sister Barbara Gordon, not Batgirl.

Peeling off the little domino mask and ears doesn’t have the same effect of Batgirl removing her full cowl.  It's just silly.  How does she look any different?  Oh, look.  A quarter of my face isn't covered.  I'm your sister now.  This issue of Batgirl fails on so many levels.

I’ve never been an Archie fan.  I respect the power of Archie Comics.  They’ve been around since the 1940s and impressive in their omnipresence.  That said.  If I were to choose a favorite Archie, Sabrina the Teenage Witch would be my pick.  She’s a witch.  She has powers and rarely interacts with the other Archies.  Add Nancy Drew writer Kelly Thompson and the inviting art of Veronica and Andy Fish, and yeah, I’m willing to try a new interpretation of the character.

Thompson doesn’t change the story much.  Sabrina is still a witch by birth, living with her witchy Aunts Hilda and Zelda and Salem a warlock cursed to be a cat.  Salem though originally was just a cat.

This is Sabrina's first day of school.  So, Thompson is starting from scratch and in the modern day.  Sabrina first appeared in Archie’s Madhouse during the early sixties.

The Girl Can't Help It

While embracing her magical side, Sabrina still sort of wants to fit in with the crowd.  So she casts her first spell of the day to change her hair color.

Thompson makes a big deal out of the occult dye job, and her focus is actually is justified.  Traditionally, Sabrina never hid her frosty locks, but striking isn’t what she’s looking for, and the subtle change is enough for anybody familiar with her to notice.

The school day passes with typical occurrences.  Sabrina for example meets the school bully.

Because of her mischievous casting, Sabrina gets netted into school detention.  Because of the lateness, she must go home after dark, and at this point Thompson and the Fishies distinguish Sabrina the Teenage Witch apart from other variants.

Like the Charmed Ones, Sabrina becomes involved in monster fighting.  That’s exactly the change I was looking for because despite the supernatural themes inherent in all of Sabrina’s appearances, they were still innocuously Archie.

To be sure, Sabrina isn’t Buffy nor the Charmed Ones, but her battle against the forces of darkness is enough for me. Thompson is such a good writer that she surprises even those familiar with the wide world of horror when Sabrina deals with the beast.

In the latest Team-Up, Scooby-Doo and the Gang meet Magilla Gorilla.  It's however not quite so simple as the premise of a little pet-shop owner trying to get rid himself of a clumsy gorilla and the cute tiny tot who wants to buy him.

Writer Sholly Fish and cartoonist Walter Carzon introduce a Hanna-Barbera themed creation that seems to fruit from the Dick Dastardly branch of the villainous family tree.  He wants to buy Magilla.

You can easily imagine Paul Wichell bringing Dr. Hasenpfeffer to life.  Fish and Carzon put together a cornucopia of evil scientist tropes to accompany this absolutely divine creation.

In a lot of ways Fish's story plays out as a typical Scooby-Doo Where Are You? 

However, you don't have to be remotely patient for the zaniness that lies within these pages.  Some of which pays tribute to Z-Grade science fiction.

Fish's role call comprises nine characters, and nobody's superfluous.  The Scooby-sleuths express some excellent interaction that's based on their history together.  Little Ogee provides the cuteness.  Mr. Peebles gives the story cantankerous dignity.  Magilla Gorilla portrays the innocent dupe that's victimized by slapstick. Seriously, there's only been about two of Scooby-Doo Team-Up that I've deemed mediocre.  We're up to a total of forty-seven issues.  Forty-seven.

Welcome to the world of Star Bastard.  This is an utterly hilarious book.  It's not for those looking for political correct staleness, but honestly, comedy doesn't really operate from niceness.  Greeves is the Star Bastard.  Though he may be an actual bastard, his title is more of a description of character.

The first act involves a father looking for his daughter, who happens to be the cute red-skinned alien above.  Yes, Greeves slept with her.  She's a princess.  Do the math. 

This is how Marvel introduced Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy.  So, you can't exactly scream foul.  Star-Lord though treated his alien bedmate to breakfast.  That's not what happens here, and this is one of the examples of Greeves being a bastard.  A clever bastard, but a bastard no less.

That's either a Kirk-Khan imitation or a John Vernon imitation.  Either one works.  As the story continues, we meet the rest of the crew, and this is where Star Bastard really succeeds.

Anybody can create a Star Bastard, but the second bananas are the most important factor in making the Bastard work.

That they consist of science fiction neatness is sauce for the goose.  With the crew identified, we soon travel to a new planet, with new people that want Star Bastard dead.  No inventions of the wheel here.  Just some thoughtful gags by writer Andrew Clemson well executed by brilliant artist Jethro Morales.  Lovely colors courtesy of Teo Gonzales.