Pick of the Brown Bag
August 14, 2019
by
Ray Tate
Welcome to the Pick of the Brown Bag, in this review blog, I examine the previous week's comic books, so you'll be ready to pick them up or save your coin on your next visit to your local shop. This week's subjects include Captain Marvel, Catwoman, Detective Comics, Fantastic Four, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, JLA and Black Hammer, Outer Darkness, Red Sonja, the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Unearth and White Trees. In the Spoiler Section I’ll look at Doctor Who. As always, should you not have the time to read the entire blog, or even skim through it, you can check me out on Twitter: #PickoftheBrownBag. This week, I'll mention some of the books that were all right but didn't merit a full review.
Before specialty comic shops, I used to subscribe to Peter Parker the Spectacular Spider-Man. As in, it would arrive by snail mail. When the newest version of the Spider-Man title hit the stands, nostalgic feelings convinced me to give this old favorite of mine a chance. I liked Chip Zdarsky’s Spider-Man writing. You can find several reviews on this blog dedicated to each issue. I wish I could speak so highly of Zdarsky’s White Trees.
Zdarsky made me balk during the first clutch of dialogue. He throws out alien names at me. Bad enough “Sir Krylos the Bold is the son of Sir Tanghar the Proud and Lady Sherock, the wild general,” but I apparently also need to know Sir Krylos grows “tantaflower and grains” and “The Trilonians have been advancing south again.” All within three bloody panels. It just gets worse from there: Seatonia, Cannahn, General Targrand, Trahlax Gate.
When creating a language rules apply. Klingons, Romulans, Vulcans. Roots and cadence explain why Star Trek alien names are so resonant. Optimus Prime, Megatron, Starscream. Daleks, Cybermen, Zygons. Rutans, Sontarans, Silurians. Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, Donatello. Venus De Milo, the female Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. They didn’t just call her Bertha.
All of the White Trees names amount to gobbledygook without any real backing. They contribute to an overall lost feeling. You named them, but I have no idea who these guys are. Cat dude? Gracefully aging Human? Native American Village People Elf?
Sure, I get some explanation as the story unfolds, but on the whole they’re a trio of Dungeons and Dragons amalgams with some sexual fluidity thrown in for spice.
No! Not Jaxward! Not Shelan! Wait. Who?
Actually, these Dungeons and Dragons characters have more personality and uniqueness about them.
I get that the sausage party is looking for their kids; abducted allegedly by their former enemies. I still don’t know what they did to deserve this revenge. Were they honorable? Dishonorable? Did they just live too long? What stirred up the pot? Why wait so long to snatch the kids? They’ve had them for awhile now.
Zdarsky spends a wee bit more time on Krylos (Gracefully Aging Human) Krylos experiences memories of his missing son Chaka.
Sorry, Chal-Kra. These memories are stereotypes for the most part. Get out in the field and work, boy. Oh, well you're a painter. I hate your painting subjects! That sort of thing.
In what should be the most rousing scene, Krylos faces a dragon. The trouble is I never once thought any of these fellows were in danger. It would have been bad manners to burn cardboard.
When we finally reach a female character in the story, she turns out to have a bond to the Cat Dude.
All right that explains the daughter of Now Bisexual Cat Dude. I’ll give you that, but why is Krylos staring at his son's painting for so long? I understand that it's his son’s work, but why three panels of it? There’s simply a lot in this book I don’t comprehend, and the writing doesn’t persuade me to try.
White Trees is suggested for mature readers, and when the trio of questers make camp among the title objects you find out the why of the warning label.
In fact the only solid thing, pun not intended, White Trees has got going for it is sexual content. Gay sex doesn’t float my boat, so to speak, but if you’re into that, you’ll probably appreciate the well-illustrated scenes. I furthermore applaud the book for sticking to its guns and unabashedly showing penis all over the place. Batman: Damned got all the hype in the world for spotlighting a heavily shadowed member of the Justice League. Oh, yeah. That pun, baby, that was intended.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man finds a parasite named Helminth at the center of the web of an Internet scam. So, Spidey calls in a favor from Tony Stark, but it’s not the team-up you think.
What Spidey wants is a clever solution that reflects his intellect and his experience. He’s doped out the best means to extricate this pest. It shouldn’t involve violence, but there are some people that just deserve it.
The older woman is named Marnie. She was a superhero back in the day and can still throw a mean punch. A little searching identifies her as the Rumor, a retro-planted Nazi fighter who teamed up with Captain America. She’s not the only hero in the building.
His heart’s in the right place, but being a sometimes superhero means that you frequently find yourself way over your head.
Fortunately for Hobie, the underlying theme of this issue of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man is experience. The Rumor is packed with it. So is Spider-Man.
Prowler as we learn in the upbeat conclusion has a different kind of experience that’s nevertheless necessary.
I really enjoyed this issue of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man. Despite coming in on the tail end of the story, I understood all that transpired and appreciate that it was about something. The visual mention of Captain Jean DeWolff was a nice touch. She’s too often forgotten, and I still miss her. I also love Spidey being the inspirational figure that he used to be as well as a humiliation for villains of all ilk.
The Puppet Master controls the Immortal Hulk to disturb Ben Grimm’s and Alicia Masters’ honeymoon.
Apparently Phil Masters didn’t know Alicia happened to be on the island paradise. This demonstrates how short-sighted Puppet Master is. It's the honeymoon. You kind of need two to tango.
The fight continues pretty much as expected, and artist Sean Izaakse takes this privilege of a Marvel tradition to heart, giving it his all in the kinetic choreography as well as the human moments.
The aftermath of the fight feels like the conclusion of a Fantastic Four cartoon where everybody’s laughing, cracking wise and having a good time. I liked that epilogue but you may find it cheesy. On the flip side, the second piece depicting the Hulk’s revenge may throw you off if you don’t read the Immortal Hulk. Even so, I'm not sure the Hulk would enact such brutality. It's more likely that the Hulk would beat up all the guards to get to Phil and threaten the life out of him.
Captain Marvel got booted out of the Air Force and tolerates a peppy young competitor that seems to coincide with bouts of health issues. These appearances happen when creatures called the Kraken manifest to cause havoc. Carol’s pretty sure her old Kree enemy Dr. Minerva is up to no good. Although, last issue, she offered her help.
A lot of the basis for this material originates from Margaret Stohl’s Life of Captain Marvel, which I didn’t read and only know second hand. Apparently, in the comic books, Carol is half-Kree. Carol’s mother Marie Danvers whom you may have met in the seventies original volumes of Ms. Marvel turns out to be Kree all along. Presumably, her tough-as-nails construction worker dad is still human. The Supreme Intelligence who is mostly responsible for triggering Carol’s power kept up the ruse for some reason. I can buy that the Brood scientists hadn’t a clue. Since they were so incredibly shrewd that they snuffed themselves out when re-triggering Carol’s abilities as Binary.
A lot of this life-kicking-teeth stuff could have really taken Carol into a Garth Ennis type of nose-dive concluding in a likely suicide. Kelly Thompson though, emphasizes the positives in Carol’s life to balance out the negatives. Alpha Flight still wants her.
So does Jim Rhodes.
There’s much talk about pairing Carol up with Valkyrie to cement Marvel’s promise of a lesbian relationship in the cinematic universe. I have no problem with that, but it’s not very practical with Carol being helluva gone most of the time. I also like Carol’s relationship with Jim Rhodes in the comics. Either or both is fine by me.
Carol has super-friends.
Marvel attempted to bolster their female readership in the nineteen seventies with the release of The Cat, Spider-Woman and Ms. Marvel. Marvel unfortunately canceled The Cat due to poor numbers. Buyers probably thought it was rip-off of Catwoman, and due to the lack of specialty stores, it was always hit or miss that you could get a comic book you had seen in advertising. The Cat incidentally became Tigra. So, blessing in disguise.
I was glad that years later Spider-Woman and Ms. Marvel found each other and became the best of friends. She provides one of the best lines I've ever heard describing Captain Marvel. I was less pleased that Kurt Busiek turned Carol into an alcoholic, but this led to a bond with Iron Man that Kelly Thompson handles beautifully.
The visual narrative by Carmen Carnero throughout Captain Marvel is utterly gorgeous and paced with precision. With colorist Tamra Bonvillain the scene below shared between Carol and Tony is perfect.
At the lab, Tony figures out what’s wrong with Carol. I was very surprised that Thompson cut to the chase. The answer once again goes back to The Life of Captain Marvel. Don’t worry. You don’t have to buy the book in order to understand what’s going on here. Thompson and company explain the whole thing, and how it seems to tie in the evil schemes of Dr. Minerva. Or does it?
Somebody’s kidnaped Brain Drain, and a message that seems to be a weird sort of spam turns out to be something else.
The explanation leads to more edutainment from Squirrel Girl writer Ryan North. I had no idea any of this computer tomfoolery could be done.
Though I could talk more about The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl in the Spoiler Section, it’s not really necessary. Ninety percent of Squirrel Girl’s worth comes from the gags. Spoil a joke, ruin a joke. There’s a plethora of comedy types, and I can guarantee that you’ll find at least one funny that will make you laugh aloud.
Though I could talk more about The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl in the Spoiler Section, it’s not really necessary. Ninety percent of Squirrel Girl’s worth comes from the gags. Spoil a joke, ruin a joke. There’s a plethora of comedy types, and I can guarantee that you’ll find at least one funny that will make you laugh aloud.
The ten percent of the plot blows up Squirrel Girl’s life literally and figuratively as a tin-plated face returns to these pages. Is it really Dr. Doom behind all the troubles Squirrel Girl faces in the story? And would I outright spoil that information if it was important to the story? These are the questions you’ll have to ask yourself if you listen to my recommendation and purchase The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl.
Ram V returns to Catwoman with a delightful done-in-one that could have happened anywhere and at any time in Catwoman’s life. In short, it’s a tale that you having never read a single issue of Catwoman can pick up and enjoy. The story draws on a lot of pulp themes which suit Catwoman perfectly.
Catwoman is bisexual. Maybe that wasn’t the intent or always the case, but Ed Brubaker first implied it, and another Catwoman writer made the suggestion explicit. That’s why Selina emulates Rick Blaine in the scene.
If you want to dismiss the attraction, you can always take it as Catwoman having read a lot of pulp novels, recognizing the moment as straight from purple prose and maybe seeing Casablanca. Doesn’t matter. The point is last time Ram V engaged Catwoman in a superb heist. This one is a setup.
Catwoman listens to the story. In the best of pulp tradition, the damsel plays on Kitty’s weaknesses, which are also her strengths.
The story flies like a feline in pursuit pausing only for Catwoman’s reverie over the wedding. Ram V imitates Tom King expertly as she has a dialogue with a stray. The wedding subtly plays into why she took this job in the first place.
Back to the plot. It’s of course a trap, and Catwoman soon finds herself battling a new villain, or an old one with a new take on life and threads. This fellow however isn’t the only Batman Rogue who makes an appearance. I was delighted to see an old friend from the Bronze Age.
Mr. Freeze returns to cause Batman loads of trouble in Detective Comics. Not however in this issue. Mr. Freeze fans will only get two pages with he and Nora as part of the Year of the Villain tie-in. So, any of those just Mr. Freeze fans. Statistically there must be a few. They can comfortably skip this issue.
Detective Comics starts off amusingly with a one page depiction of Batman on patrol, wiping out at least eleven miscreants all in a single night, all to the tune of Alfred in his ear reminding him of Bruce Wayne’s obligations. Batman of course doesn’t listen, and goes home to find only Ace waiting for him.
After literally two minutes of sleep, Batman as Bruce Wayne awakens. At first he promises death to Alfred but accepts that this whole thing is on him.
Writer Peter J. Tomasi and artists Christian Duce and Luis Guerrero juxtapose a meeting of Wayne Enterprises with the introduction of the Big Bad. Our villain of the issue is a Batman Rogue that was second tier but through association became a hit. That’s the only clue you’ll be getting.
Tom King doesn’t really deal with the Bruce Wayne persona. He deals with Batman, the real man. We had a taste of Tomasi’s Wayne image from the Detective Comics Annual, but since he was with a genuine friend, the smart and lovely Sophia Zervas, Batman projected a more realistic Wayne. This version is a farce but plausible.
Tomasi’s Bruce Wayne is different. He’s mercurial, but also brilliant. The role creates a believable character that could build an empire yet still be a million light years from Batman.
Another cost-saving, environmentally friendly measure puts Bruce Wayne on a plane amongst CEOs to Singapore. One of those CEOs is the Big Bad’s target, but when lightning strikes the plan goes to blazes. Bruce Wayne lets his Cape show, though not too much. Again, there's a an apropos idea that Bruce Wayne could end up the hero and not be Batman.
The Justice League, including Batman find themselves imprisoned in the place of Black Hammer. This creates a lot of problems for Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and Cyborg.
Batman’s breakdown isn’t just in his fruitless patrols. It also lies in flawed observational skills regarding Superman. Wonder Woman though immortal finds this imprison tortuous. Cyborg has it even worse since he cannot blend in with the crowd.
Meanwhile, the Black Hammer heroes confront Starro but mostly squabble among themselves. It’s not until the remaining Justice League members show up that Starro lies defeated. Starro wasn’t the gist of the tale anyway.
The League want to know where their friends are, but the answers to that lie in space where John Stewart and a team of Green Lanterns confront another Black Hammer figure.
This is a pretty interesting “team-up,” and it’s always great to see Hawkgirl again.
The story is out of continuity, and writer Jeff Lemire takes advantage of the freedom to not only toon up Hawkgirl but also to revisit a planet in the DCU that no longer exists. Hasn't existed since pre-Crisis days. The final page is a keeper. I really didn’t expect that shocker and look forward to how Lemire will extricate himself from this bit of writing.
A stand-alone Outer Darkness has Riggs and the crew of The Charon in Star Trek mode.
But brothers and sisters, this ain’t Star Trek. Gory murders that better suit a splatter movie open the book. The only reason why Riggs wants to investigate personally is because of a name on the manifest.
The investigation goes as one may expect in Outer Darkness, with violence, murder and betrayal through demonic possession. Good stuff albeit a little short.
A body transforming malaise drew scientists and marines to Mexico. A pair of boys identified the mouth of a cavern from whence the disease is thought to originate.
At first, the scientists experience an exotic alien world ripe for exploration. To the marines its a clear and present danger, and a giant from H.G. Welles soon punctuates the hazards. Still, it's all a just an extrapolation of the science fiction visions of the past.
There's a sense of wonder about Unearth that quickly becomes a sense of dread.
You don't feel it right away, even though early scenes from Amelia's memories foreshadow what's to come.
It's a simple table top game, or is it? As the team moves, on Dr. Amelia Reyes exhibits greater knowledge of the cavern system than their foundling. Foundlings are always bad news in these types of stories. They're like Changelings left behind by dark faerie.
Before long, we get an idea of the horrors to expect. The magnificent giant is actually a malignant wyrm. The bizarre creatures are symptoms of a cosmic plague.
Ythog-Raa. That sounds a lot like Yog-Sototh. Who needs no further explanation if you're student of H.P. Lovecraft. The girl furthermore refers to it as the Beastmother, which is a damn shame. Because nobody I think will be getting out of this alive.
Unearth started as a simple updating on Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth via Aliens. I totally dismissed the body horror element. Incorporating it into science fiction. This issue diverts into some very unexpected territory.
A body transforming malaise drew scientists and marines to Mexico. A pair of boys identified the mouth of a cavern from whence the disease is thought to originate.
At first, the scientists experience an exotic alien world ripe for exploration. To the marines its a clear and present danger, and a giant from H.G. Welles soon punctuates the hazards. Still, it's all a just an extrapolation of the science fiction visions of the past.
There's a sense of wonder about Unearth that quickly becomes a sense of dread.
You don't feel it right away, even though early scenes from Amelia's memories foreshadow what's to come.
It's a simple table top game, or is it? As the team moves, on Dr. Amelia Reyes exhibits greater knowledge of the cavern system than their foundling. Foundlings are always bad news in these types of stories. They're like Changelings left behind by dark faerie.
Before long, we get an idea of the horrors to expect. The magnificent giant is actually a malignant wyrm. The bizarre creatures are symptoms of a cosmic plague.
Ythog-Raa. That sounds a lot like Yog-Sototh. Who needs no further explanation if you're student of H.P. Lovecraft. The girl furthermore refers to it as the Beastmother, which is a damn shame. Because nobody I think will be getting out of this alive.
Unearth started as a simple updating on Jules Verne's Journey to the Center of the Earth via Aliens. I totally dismissed the body horror element. Incorporating it into science fiction. This issue diverts into some very unexpected territory.
Appointed Queen of Hyrkania, Red Sonja defends her people from the ravenous Zamoran Empire, led by Dragan who comes off as a cross between Groucho Marx's Rufus T. Firefly and Idi Amin. No, he's too smart to be Trump.
Sonja uses the tactics taught to her by a grand warrior named Domo, and she flashes back to these teachings when she employs them. Last issue, Dragan kidnaped Sonja's cousin Kyron and planned to use him as a hostage to force her into marriage. It doesn't matter that Dragan is already married and sire to a son. This is after all the Hyborean Age. Something unfortunate happens to Kyron. Now, Sonja doesn't just want to protect the people of Hyrkania. She wants revenge.
Red Sonja is the instrument of plenty of gory murders this issue, many of them quite spectacular, as she nears ever closer to the delivering demise of the would be emperor of the world.
Sonja uses the tactics taught to her by a grand warrior named Domo, and she flashes back to these teachings when she employs them. Last issue, Dragan kidnaped Sonja's cousin Kyron and planned to use him as a hostage to force her into marriage. It doesn't matter that Dragan is already married and sire to a son. This is after all the Hyborean Age. Something unfortunate happens to Kyron. Now, Sonja doesn't just want to protect the people of Hyrkania. She wants revenge.
Red Sonja is the instrument of plenty of gory murders this issue, many of them quite spectacular, as she nears ever closer to the delivering demise of the would be emperor of the world.
Her strategems evolve from memories of her cousin and parallel her lessons with Domo. In the middle of this exercise, in a simply strong Red Sonja story, writer Mark Russell expounds on political ambition to make Red Sonja his. I'm reminded of the sometimes philosophical diversions in spaghetti westerns.
It also doesn't matter if the figures exude resonance. Sonja overcomes everything and everybody in her way. The methods she uses are remarkable in their variation. Some of them lack a single moment of fair play but for some reason you're unbothered and still see Red Sonja as the hero of this picture. Perhaps because she only attacks warriors where as Dragan tortures innocent, helpless captives. Dragan's callousness identifies who is truly savage.
It also doesn't matter if the figures exude resonance. Sonja overcomes everything and everybody in her way. The methods she uses are remarkable in their variation. Some of them lack a single moment of fair play but for some reason you're unbothered and still see Red Sonja as the hero of this picture. Perhaps because she only attacks warriors where as Dragan tortures innocent, helpless captives. Dragan's callousness identifies who is truly savage.
The Spoiler Section
Neil Gaiman in dialogue introduced the Corsair. The Time Lord that gave proof positive that Time Lords could in fact switch gender. This wasn't the first indication which still belongs to Steven Moffat when he wrote Matt Smith's Doctor's first lines in "The End of Time," but it was another first. Jody Houser, Roberta Ingranata and Enrica Eren Angiolini is the first to introduce the Corsair in a proper Doctor Who project. Even beating the audios to the punch.
Last issue, the Doctor after being tried for a crime she didn't commit traced the clues to her old friend the Corsair. Because she knows that the Corsair will die, and horribly at that, she wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. The Corsair says that the Doctor's rubbed off on her. She's actually stealing for the benefit of universe. It may not have mattered.
The Doctor's probably not lying either. Though the Doctor is a hero, she's also a thief. Stealing the TARDIS, willfully breaking the laws of her people, bucking the system. Fighting the Man. Her friendship could have overridden her altruistic instincts. Missy in the television series has a great line about her friendship with the Doctor. It does make one think.
So, our friends go to Radoplina to face the vault of vaults and steal the treasure for the good of the cosmos. Or is Corsair just playing the Doctor? Either choice would be good, and Houser makes it actually immaterial whether or not Corsair is on the up and up. It's just a lark to see the Doctor and the Corsair interact.
When the Doctor figures out how to open the vault, all is revealed, and the answer determined. That said, the Corsair hasn't run out of trickery and does things that the Doctor wouldn't do. On a good day. All of the chicanery leads to a surprise at the conclusion. You didn't expect a Doctor Who Big Bad behind the whole thing, but thar she blows. Darned if that identity doesn't make sense.
No, it's not Missy.
Last issue, the Doctor after being tried for a crime she didn't commit traced the clues to her old friend the Corsair. Because she knows that the Corsair will die, and horribly at that, she wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. The Corsair says that the Doctor's rubbed off on her. She's actually stealing for the benefit of universe. It may not have mattered.
The Doctor's probably not lying either. Though the Doctor is a hero, she's also a thief. Stealing the TARDIS, willfully breaking the laws of her people, bucking the system. Fighting the Man. Her friendship could have overridden her altruistic instincts. Missy in the television series has a great line about her friendship with the Doctor. It does make one think.
So, our friends go to Radoplina to face the vault of vaults and steal the treasure for the good of the cosmos. Or is Corsair just playing the Doctor? Either choice would be good, and Houser makes it actually immaterial whether or not Corsair is on the up and up. It's just a lark to see the Doctor and the Corsair interact.
When the Doctor figures out how to open the vault, all is revealed, and the answer determined. That said, the Corsair hasn't run out of trickery and does things that the Doctor wouldn't do. On a good day. All of the chicanery leads to a surprise at the conclusion. You didn't expect a Doctor Who Big Bad behind the whole thing, but thar she blows. Darned if that identity doesn't make sense.
No, it's not Missy.
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