POBB July 31, 2019

Pick of the Brown Bag

July 31, 2019

by

Ray Tate

Welcome to the Pick of the Brown Bag, a weekly comic book review blog run by yours truly Ray Tate.  For this installment, I look at Batman Secret Files, Fantastic Four, Heathen, Knights Temporal, John Carter, Warlord of Mars Attacks, Manor Black, Red Hood and the Outlaws Annual and Sabrina the Teenage Witch.  Should you not have time to drink deep from the riches of the POBB… 

…fresh capsules are available on Twitter: #PickoftheBrownBag.

Two books by Cullen Bunn came out this week.  Knights Temporal from Aftershock and Manor Black from Dark Horse.  

Knights Temporal is a glossy version of Highlander subtracting the beheading and the Quickening, which is where a lot of the Higlander’s fun comes from.  

So minus the good stuff, what do you have left? Dialogue just sits there.  We lack a point of view character.  The whole exercise really seems like a draft for a movie or television series just waiting for a cast and director to animate.  No doubt the words would be infused with a little more oomph by a good script writer.

The story board by Fran Galan is excellent, but it adds to the predictability.  For example, you just knew the contrasting, bouncy trickster character would behave in such a fashion.  

She’s actress bait.  A ballsy, lively figure with the artifice of complexity.  Just tame-sexy enough to skirt the edges of PG-13.  Doing I Dream of Jeannie censors proud, she doesn’t even show her navel.  Through the entire book she in fact, keeps accumulating clothing.

Not that I think nudity would help the dull prose.

I just find it odd that any potential exoticism would be snuffed out right from the get-go.  Leaving the whole affair to be rather dreary.  

Occurring before the fall of the Knights Templar, the valiant Knight Auguste follows a sorcerous enemy Gaspard into a legendary forest.  

Auguste meets up with the trickster Jane Foole.  Really? Jane Foole?  That’s annoying.  She leads him into a time tunnel. 

Apparently, he travels through the ages, loses his memory at some point and continues the hunt for Gaspard again and again.

Now in the present, or near future, he defends against Gaspard’s frog-thing.  That’s not a euphemism.

Froggy went a courtin’ for death!  Frogs.  Inherently non-threatening.  Often cute as and the size of buttons.  

As the story continues, the jig may be up when some old dude recognizes Auguste.  Fortunately, a "twist" ending saves us from having to listen to what most would have dismissed as dementia.

Manor Black also by Bunn and writing partner Brian Hurtt is much more original and much more interesting.  The story begins with some black folk in a van trying to escape a what the hell is that.

On the surface, the thing appears to be the kid with the Darkman fetish on the cover, but how did he do what he did to the van? What did he do? What does he want with the travelers? Questions without answers entice the reader.

From the incident with the van, we cut to what I presume to be the Manor Black.  Here an old man walks through a creepy visual narrative courtesy of artist Tyler Crook.  He ends up marveling at an hourglass filled with blood.

Again, what the hell is that? The most predictable thing about Manor Black are the dead predecessors.  Someone propped up their corpses around a dinner table.  They chat with the old man as superimposed ghosts.  Obviously, you've got a little Texas Chainsaw Massacre mixed with seances in the scene.  The rest of the story doesn’t remind me of anything, and that’s in its favor.

Bunn, Hurtt and Crook juxtapose these scenes with the sheriff's department's investigation of the van incident.  When it comes to fiction, non-existent and/or stupid constabulary are pet peeves of mine.  These cops are not stupid, and what happens in the sheriff’s office comes as a shock.  I'm happy to say that it won’t be the last the reader experiences.

In previous issues of Sabrina the Teenage Witch our platinum haired heroine settled in to her new home of Greendale, where she vowed no more spells.

Sabrina’s been spelling all over the place.  That’s a good thing because here be monsters.  Sabrina's aunts Hilda and Zelda were so concerned that they went into the woods where Sabrina fought a beast and have yet to return.

Veronica and Andy Fish’s artwork enhances the emotion in Kelly Thompson’s story which only drifts farther from Sabrina’s classic tales by a few degrees until the very end.  As such, Thompson achieves the proper balance of making things interesting while not forgetting why Sabrina gained her cult fame in the first place.

For example, though Greendale is Sabrina’s traditional home in the comics, Thompson reintroduces it as new territory here.  Still no explanation of Nancy Drew growing up in Bayport.  Anyway, Harvey Kinkle, Sabrina's historical Darren Stevens resides in Greendale, and he's a townie.

Thompson’s new wrinkle for Kinkle? A rival.  Thompson being a skilled writer furthermore uses Ransom and Harvey in other ways to benefit her story.  Ransom is one half of a brother-sister student pair.  Both have a secret that Sabrina keeps, and Ransom actually doesn’t know.  Kinkle possesses insider knowledge.

Thompson is clearly steering the witches in her version of Sabrina in a Wicca direction with a good dose of feminism along for the ride.  For most, that's redundant.  

The showstopper of the book is a perfect blend of writing and art that would have blown the budget on any live action television show.  These final scenes depart drastically yet somehow fittingly from previous Sabrina adventures.

The outcome also answers the question of just how powerful Sabrina is and can become.  Sabrina's appearance in Archie Comics was a weird thing to begin with.  Brunette, Blonde, oh, yeah, and a powerful white-haired witch.  

In Stan Lee’s and Jack Kirby’s world of Norse mythology, Odin was the All-Father, he was the King of Agard, father to Thor and Loki.  The stories they related potrayed Odin as stern but fair and full of love for his sons.  I’ve always took that Odin as gospel, pun intended.  

The Odin of Heathen is a bit of a prick.  The Norse top god wants Aydis, a Viking Girl, dead.  She kissed a girl.  Her father rather than acquiesce to his village’s demands—kill the deviant or marry her to a man—set her free to pursue her destiny.  Aydis had a plan.  She intended to show the world what a Viking girl who likes girls can do.  She freed Brynhilde from the Ring of Fire.  And this is the part that really raws Odin, who set Brynhild up for this punishment, she asked nothing in return.

Aydis learns that Brynhild actually had been freed before only to return as part of Odin’s curse.  Aydis, plucky and young, decides she will truly free Brynhild from her curse allowing her to be with Sigurd, her true love.  Odin made him immortal so he would be forever kept from Brynhild.  Odin is a bit of a prick.  

Last issue, Odin ended his former wife Freya’s reign of love by slaughtering her favorite mortal and using the Valkyries as his agents of execution.  Did I mention that Odin is a bit of a prick?

He furthermore broke the truce Adydis established with the mermaids.  Her inadvertent actions endangered her shipmates and now Aydis finds herself rowing the Northern Sea. 

Writer/artist Natasha Alterici takes another step away from the traditional and more familiar Nose myths to set up a meeting with Heimdal, who is not what you think of.  It’s yet another interesting twist on the familiar, while we share the pain of characters we’re invested in.

A dream girl fell out of a slimy wannabe President’s head.  In the ethical world of The Queen of Bad Dreams, Figments as they’re called have rights.  The Judge tracks down wayward Figments and brings them in for questioning.  They can either be integrated in the real world, returned to the dreamer or in the case of a nightmare, dispensed.

In many ways, The Queen of Bad Dreams is Utopian.  Humanity evolved past racism and homophobia.  As well these future humans give concern to the stuff of aether.

Our central characters Inspector Judge Daher Wei and Figment Ava stop in at the Judge’s ex-wife’s home where she introduces Ava to her daughter Selene.  Ava's beauty and charisma creates underlying friction.  Judge Wei though is on the up and up, fearing for Ava's existence, looking for a temporary safe haven until her matters can be resolved.

Ava's presence catalyzes a surprising chain of informational events that run parallel to the investigative narrative.  The whole of the story  climaxes with the Judge confronting Emerson Chase in a very satisfying splash page.

John Carter Warlord of Mars created by Tarzan’s hard-working Edgar Rice Burroughs.  Burroughs harbored no illusions.  He never imagined equating his writing with profundity or art.  He simply wanted to make an honest buck entertaining his readers.  Burroughs would have loved Jeff Parker’s latest mashup, pitting John Carter against Topps Cards ghoulish, bellicose Martians.  The story begins on Barsoom, the Burroughs name for Mars, framed by John Carter’s postbellum Virginian vernacular. 

John Carter gets the best of the Martians, but there are simply too many of the little bastards.  Even the great Green Martian Tars Tarkas can do only so much.

With the Atmosphere Factory of Helium destroyed, Dejah Thoris, Princess of Mars makes a fateful decision.

In this opening, Parker demonstrates a superb appreciation for Burroughs’ works.  Characterization all rings true, and little details like the mention of John's and Dejah's son Carthoris adds to the authenticity of the drama.

Parker next cuts to the present day where he introduces the sort of typical Mars Attacks cast, updated for modern times.

Balancing out the two scientists.  An every man who gains verisimilitude through a plausible explanation.

I honestly didn’t know what to expect after this surprising spin through time.  What I couldn't imagine is instantaneous gratification.

Mars Attacks really, really fast.

And inexplicably to science.  Our central figures end up together on a road trip to a particular cave where John Carter Warlord of Mars sleeps.

In issue two of Warlord of Mars Attacks, the Martians take their usual glee in utter destruction, lording their superior weaponry as they decimate we poor humans.  

Hate to say, but this scenario is accurate.  Any sufficiently advanced conquerer would have very little trouble eliminating or enslaving us.

Meanwhile our heroes compare notes.  We discover that we’re in a present day informed by Burroughs in the same way Dr. John Watson informed readers about Sherlock Holmes.

Dean Kotz’s art is really remarkable.  Kotz excells when demonstrating the Martian talent for butchery.  He also presents the depiction of a friendly conversation with normal people.  And makes that visually interesting.

Ramon, Dr. Norman and Maven Keyes finally reach their destination.  

John Carter and all of Burroughs’ creations never age or age slower than normal humans.  Tarzan and Jane have a son just like Dejah Thoris and John Carter.  Korak and Carthoris grow independently with respect to their parents who stay perpetually youthful. 

Parker doesn’t explain that, letting comic book logic do the talking for him.  He does come up with a witty reason for how Mars can be a dead world according to all our probes and the diverse, exotic Barsoom at the same time.

Given that this is primarily an action adventure book, Parker just throws in this hypothesis for fun.  It also characterizes the focus group.  

Parker never forgets what this book is about.  Dialogue from the Martians will please Tim Burton fans.  Their various devices drop snugly into the armada, and Kotz's art frequently captures the essence of the Topps Cards hedonistic sadism.  On the flip side, Parker nods to Burroughs fans who want heroes.  Savage and skillful champion.  What difference does one John Carter make to a Martian invasion.

You may as well ask what difference does one Doctor make to a Dalek invasion.  

For the Red Hood and the Outlaws Annual, Scott Lobdell addresses the fates of Bizarro and Artemis last seen bravely sacrificing themselves to save Gotham City and each other.

They end up as Lobdell left them off in the regular series.  Somewhere far from the now.

Red Hood and the Outlaws is nothing, new nothing groundbreaking, but the execution is superbly entertaining.  As the story unfolds, our strangers in a strange land discover what happened, and it’s not a pretty sight.

Once Lobdell establishes the rules of the game, he proceeds to add little details such as Artemis' separation from Mistress, her Mjonlir-like battle-axe.

Lobdell treats Red Hood and the Outlaws in every iteration as misfit superheroes.  They don’t exactly play like the other heroes, and Lobdell derives a lot of comedy from the fact.  Red Hood and the Outlaws Annual is no different.

A wannabe Big Bad learns the extremely painful lesson of what happens when you mess with a Superman that lacks a Boy Scout code.  It’s a great screwball moment, carried out in Warner Brothers cartoon style translated more realistically by Adam Pollina and Steve Firchow.

In the second half of the story Lobdell, Pollina and Firchow show the passage of time with a simple short hand visual. In the span, Bizarro and Artemis join the resistance movement, and we find some strange representations of familiar figures.

This isn’t the first time the Joker’s been portrayed as a good guy.  It is the first time however the Joker’s never been a villain.  Having never met Batman, he never falls into the vat of chemicals.  Perhaps, he never wore the Red Hood.  It’s an ironic twist given the name of the book.  Lobdell in a sense provides a Red Hood without a Red Hood.

As we delight to the antics of Jack Knife, the plot grows more complex.  A traditional sphincter re-emerges with a threat to not just this universe but the one from which Artemis and Bizarro sprang.  This gives the concluding act a great sense of urgency.

Despite promoting the rogues gallery currently operating in Tom King’s run of Batman, despite not being written by Tom King, the anthology Secret Files is pretty good.  Only one story celebrates villainy.  Three simply give us Batman beating the crap out of Arkham Asylum inmates.  We begin with the Joker.

As you can see by the legend, Andy Kubert comes up with the short story, and he proves to be just as able a writer as artist.  The Joker’s night is filled with pain and humiliation.  Just the way we like it.  I’m not familiar with the artist accompanying Kubert, but he maintains the point of view and adds to the comedy with the Joker’s pitiable expressions.

Collin Kelly and Jackson Lanzing with artists Carlos D’Anda and Luis Guerrero put together a strong Batman tale that demonstrates his detective and disguise skills.

When he stands revealed, things go father south for the villain of the piece who I shan’t reveal.  Batman’s enemy poses a good threat, giving the story added depth, and the final panel will make you smile.  The Dark Knight really isn't that dark.  I've been trying to tell people that for years.

Batgirl writer Mairghread Scott pits Batman against the Riddler in a battle of wits.  She lays out clues for a fair play puzzle and introduces a curious habit the Riddler has when recognizing his defeat.  

Professor Hugo Strange is a Golden Age Batman villain.  In the Bronze Age, he learned, stole and protected Batman's secret identity.  In the New 52, Strange alive and well no longer possesses that knowledge.  He now obsesses over the mystery of Batman's alter-ego.  Steve Orlando exhibits Professor Hugo Strange’s madness in a nasty piece of murder and psychosis.  

Tim Seeley writes Bane with Patrick Gleason on the art detail.  Seeley's story creates a pretense of sympathizing with the devil.  This is in part due to Bane being inspired by the heroic masked wrestlers of Mexico.  The punchline though delivers Bane's nasty surprise.

Dan Slott introduces a new twist to The Fantastic Four.

I’ve never heard of this “annual transmutation.”  I guess if you study past volumes of the Fantastic Four, the Thing on average transforms back to Ben Grimm on a yearly basis.  That said, taking away his FF signal device so he can enjoy his honeymoon with new wife Alicia undisturbed is just asking for trouble.

The peril of course comes in the form of the Hulk.  This is not a spoiler.  The Hulk is on the cover.  Slott parallels the Hulk's arrival on the island paradise with Godzilla's frequent stops in Tokyo and of late Hawaii and San Francisco.  We see a disturbance in the water before the manifestation.

This is not the Hulk and Thing’s annual brawl.  Phillip Masters the Puppet Master controls the Hulk.  In a sense, the Hulk is actually Mecha-Godzilla before the genuine green guy burns off the fake skin.

Seeking revenge or just laughs, Dr. Doom gifted the Puppet Master Power Cosmic Clay.  Slott’s enhancement is pretty slick.  You need that kind of force to compel the Hulk, especially nowadays.

The Puppet Master intends to break up the Thing’s honeymoon with Alicia.  Oh, and he wants to kill Ben.  He always hated Ben Grimm.  Who knows why.  

You’re probably asking why he would threaten Alicia.  They’re not blood.  Alicia is his stepdaughter.  Though he expressed honest love for her before, he’s just crazy enough to dismiss her.  Phillip Masters is one of the most mercurial of the Marvel psychopaths, and underestimated too often.  This issue of The Fantastic Four rights that.