POBB March 14, 2021

Pick of the Brown Bag

March 14, 2021

by

Ray Tate

Welcome back to the first POBB marathon spotlighting the Infinite Frontier.  For this posting, I look at The Crime Syndicate, Suicide Squad and Swamp Thing.  If you're out of time and need a snap decision-- #PickoftheBrownBag --on Twitter.

Gotta admit.  It takes balls to write the Crime Syndicate after Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns.

Created by Gardner Fox and Mike Sekowsky, the Crime Syndicate of America debuted in Justice League of America #29 in 1964.

The Crime Syndicate was unlike any other group of villains the Justice League faced.  That was because they were the top dogs of Earth-Three.  

Earth-Three is a distinctive mirror earth where several opposites in history occur.  I won't go into details because you can only make sense of them after some deep, deep thought.  

Originally, the changes were just flip and superficial like Lincoln shooting President Booth.  When you ponder though, the Crime Syndicate's entire timeline must be radically different.

At the onset, the Crime Syndicate bore no doppelgänger relationships to the Justice League.  In other words the villainous Johnny Quick was not secretly John Chambers, nor Barry Allen nor any of the other Flash Family of speedsters.  These villains merely mocked the colors and style of the Justice League.  

The original Crime Syndicate returned to plague the Justice League and the Justice Society several times before dying in The Crisis on Infinite Earths.  Since the multiverse no longer existed.  Neither could the Crime Syndicate.  Then, Grant Morrison happened.

Morrison began recreating the multiverse in JLA.  The Justice Society were in metaphorical limbo.  Earth Two was vacant.  It became the Syndicate's new home.

Again, these reconfigured villains are nobody we know.  Ultraman isn't Kal-El.  Superwoman though adopting the identity Lois Lane is actually an Amazon just like her predecessor.  Owlman is Thomas Wayne Jr.  

Geoff Johns for the New 52's Forever Evil preserved a lot of what Grant Morrison reconstituted,  He furthermore added a clever purloined letter in the form of Atomica, a female, gun-moll version of the Atom.  By the by, Johns' sleight of hand plotting in this event is his most masterful.

Andy Schmidt's story presents the formation of the latest version of the Crime Syndicate, resurrected from Death Metal.  I know as much about Death Metal as I do the Suicide Squad.  Let's just say something happened to reboot the multiverse and move on.  

The book opens on the JFK assassination, but it's somewhat different than what you expect.  

A lot of people are going to accuse the Crime Syndicate of ripping off Brightburn.  Sorry.  Ultraman was Brightburn long before Brightburn.  No matter the incarnation, the Syndicate were always a nasty bunch of bastards.

The elimination also exemplifies the unique history of the Syndicate's planet.  That incarnation of JFK was an authoritarian dictator.  People cheer after the assassination, until they see what did the deed.

This version of Earth-Three may not have stayed rancid like the previous copies.  We jump forward to the now, where Cat Grant runs The Daily Planet.

A long time ago, post-Crisis creation Cat Grant was just a reporter of fluff pieces.  As writers started giving her dignity and depth, she evolved into a substantial character, making her transition to founder of media conglomerate Catco on Supergirl a linear, short step.

Cat editing and publishing the Daily Planet has only been a polar opposite for a few brief formative years.  The real strange thing about the scene is that on a corrupt Earth-Three, newspapers exist and still print the truth.

Other Syndicate members get their piece and highlight the unsual nature of the earth they occupy.

Oliver Queen became President.  Superwoman in this story is an evil version of Donna Troy.  I doubt Schmidt would have thought of that if not for Dan Abnett's remarkable Titans run. 

The post-Crisis repeatedly kicked Donna Troy in the teeth.  She suffered greatly from having her history ripped out from under her.  More so than her fellow Titans.  The New 52 hasn't been any kinder.  

At first rewritten as a homunculus fashioned to kill Wonder Woman, Donna experienced a fuzzy memory composite of her previous Teen Titans life.  Rejoining the Titans, she learns her future self will conquer the planet and murder not just Wonder Woman but every other hero.  Sucker...It was Wally West all along.

Adding to the roster, Schmidt revives Crime Syndicate also-rans like the new Johnny Quick who looks like a refugee from Mad Max Fury Road.  We also get a new Atomica and a new John Stewart as Power Ring.

A new ring of Volthoom, as well.  The New God Black Racer destroyed the evil intelligence in Justice League during the Darkseid War.  Another really good Geoff Johns production.

Last but not least, Owlman shows up toward the conclusion, being part Morrison Hoots and part Scott Snyder Court of Owls.

The Crime Syndicate forms this time to combat an invasion by Starro the Conqueror.  Starro first attempted to conquer     earth-one back in the Silver Age.  He shows up every once and awhile for a repeat performance, heckled by the League.  He's an A-Class threat even if thwarted by a mascot with a snapping fetish and worth the Syndicate's mettle.  Still there's nobody here to root for.

Starro's a cunning alien, monster.  The Syndicate are evil.  Schmidt raises them above the level of ordinary criminal.  They all foster different rationales for fighting Starro, and becoming sort of champions of the innocent by default.  Still, evil though.

Art by Kieran McKeown and Dexter Vines offers a solid visual narrative filled with emotive characters, and Steve Oliff's hues add zing.  This is about as colorful a comic book reveling in villainy can get.  Subscribe if you're a Crime Syndicate fan.  Follow for possible hero guest stars if you're not.

So, guess what? I know beans about the history of the Suicide Squad.  I know that the original team were a handful of expendable, human operatives led by Rick Flagg, and that's about it.  So click on the wikipedia link if you're super-interested.  I'm not even mildly curious.

The basics of the modern Suicide Squad is simple.  Amanda Waller controls a team of expendable villains and sometimes heroes from the DC Pantheon to handle tasks too dirty for higher grade Leaguers, Legionnaires, Titans, and sure, even Outsiders.  The carrot is usually a reduced sentence.  The stick is a remote control explosive device in the head or neck.  You only get hit once with the stick.

Usually, I don't give a rat's behind about the Suicide Squad.  I agree with Batman, who despises Waller and the Squad.  However, Charlton cover heroes Peacemaker and the Judomaster, of all people, make picking up at least one issue difficult to resist.

This is not to say Judomaster or Peacemaker are favorite characters, or even good characters.  I've never read a single one of their original adventures.  Nevertheless, I'm aware of their existence and that DC bought these oddities as part of a birthday gift for Dick Giordano.  True.  It's their rarity that makes them sauce for the goose.  Dan Greenwald from the Comic Book Pit podcast referred to such figures as stray puppies.  I've not heard of a better description.

Suicide Squad didn't change my uninformed opinion of Judomaster and Peacemaker.   Marvel cornered the market in super-cool martial artists in the seventies at the height of the Kung-Fu Fighting era.  

DC has the Batman Family and Black Canary.  Why on earth would I waste my time on some lame "master" of judo?  Ever hear of the original Black Cat from the humble Harvey Comics?   

That's some tastier eye-candy, let me tell you, and I'm sure she can kick Judomaster's ass.  Of course, so can Tinker from Speedy Buggy.  

As for Peacemaker, what the hell is up with that headgear? How? Why? 

So this is the Infinite Frontier Suicide Squad.  Two Charltons, Bolt, who I know from Who's Who in the DC Universe? All led by Amanda Waller, of course.  

Here's the funny thing.  I still don't give a rat's behind about the Suicide Squad.  I'm either still neutral or disdainful toward this particular team.  However, writer Robbie Thompson makes The Suicide Squad compelling.

Amanda Waller is a paranoid lunatic control freak.  She believes that every hero she cannot command is her enemy.  This includes the Justice League.

That's Rick Flagg.  A character who lived far beyond his expected sell date.  The Squad's objective.  

Infiltrate Arkham Asylum, and that's really all I can say about the book without giving away all the intriguing twists and turns.  Somehow Amanda Waller believes these actions will create a countermeasure to the Justice League.  She's setting herself up for another loss.  Waller should retire somewhere and take up Buddhism.  She's just a delusional, ball of hate.  In the real world, if she weren't Black, she'd be a pundit on Fox News.

One other impressive thing I can divulge about Suicide Squad.  It's actually set before some of the events in the anthology Infinite Frontier, and links up smoothly.

The release of Joker gas catalyzes the Batman story in Infinite Frontier.  So, extra points for that.  

DC gave the thankless task of making nobodies look good to Eduardo Pansica, Julio Ferreira and Marcelo Majolo.  They all measure up to the challenge, and sisters and brothers they were challenged.  If you're keen on the Suicide Squad, subscribe.  I'll be honest I'm tempted to pick up a second issue.  At the very least, follow.

My favorite Catwoman writer Ram V introduces a new Swamp Thing, kind of, to the Infinite Frontier.  Will it take root?  Damn good question, and it's too early to tell.  

Being a fan of Swamp Thing, I'm naturally a little leery of the whole exercise.  I'm an old school kind of guy.  

I still love this movie.

Swamp Thing for me is Alec Holland, who's slain in a lab explosion, splashed with a bio-restorative formula of his own invention that merges him with the swamp and extinguishes his flaming body.  

Alec spends the rest of the series seeking revenge for his wife Linda whom the opposition murders in cold blood.  He actually doesn't want a pound of flesh for his own fate.  Killing Linda is the crime.  Hence, Swamp Thing's initial success.  Alec Holland is selfless.  Most people would be pretty raw about being turned into a muck monster.  For Alec, all that matters is making the people who killed Linda pay.

After the vengeance, Swamp Thing becomes a fringe figure in DC Comics stopping the monsters, both human and otherwise that threaten humanity and nature.

My very first encounter with Swamp Thing

The Brave and the Bold #122

In the post-Crisis, Swamp Thing became something else.  I'm cognizant of Alan Moore's run.  I wasn't a huge fan, but I respect it.  Moore created a lot of continuity; including the idea that Alec Holland never really was Swamp Thing.  Rather the bog plants duplicated Alec's mind.  Alec's corpse still lies at the bottom of the lake.  Or something like that.  Honestly, I never understood any of this.  I'm a hard science kind of guy.  Moore furthermore originated the idea of Swamp Thing not being one creature.  Multiple Swamp Things exist throughout earth's history.  I presume it's only earth's history.  So, there's a germ that somebody else can be Swamp Thing.  Enter Levi Kamei.

Ram V's story is very literate and reads like the opening of a novel rather than a typical comic book.  The unsettling mood differs strongly from the bouncy pulpy Catwoman.  Mike Perkins' artwork leans into the idea that you're going to be experiencing a work of horror set in the real world. 

The Pale Wanderer is Ram V's cryptozoic conception, steeped in folklore.  He's a combination of Wendigo, Skunk Ape and Chupacabras.   We see the Wanderer's origin story related as a legend by the officer who first broached the subject and later meet the thing in detail.

The incident with the Pale Wanderer juxtaposes with the unfolding of Levi Kamei's transformation into a new Swamp Thing.  The first stage occurs in dreams of an uncontrollable germination, but this is only the setup.  A suspenseful foreshadowing one may find in The Night Gallery or Sixth Sense.  The Gary Collins television series not "I see dead people."  The setting of the plane may be homage to The Twilight Zone.

Levi travels to New York to reacquaint himself with a friend, and the plot thickens in a very unexpected way.

Even if Levi becomes the new Swamp Thing, it doesn't explain who is photographing him, or why.  Do they have anything to do with Swamp Thing, or is this a tail of Levi the human, not who he will become?  So many puzzles.  I found Swamp Thing to be tantalizing. Subscribe.

POBB July 25, 2018

Pick of the Brown Bag

July 25, 2018

by

Ray Tate

Welcome to the Pick of the Brown Bag.  Notice anything?  It’s on time.  Yes! This week I’m reviewing Aquaman, Charlie’s Angels, Doomsday Clock, Green Hornet, Justice League Dark, Infinity Wars, Mera, Mr. and Mrs. X, Scooby-Doo Team-Up and X-23.  As always should you be too exhausted to read my ramblings, you can always get to the point on Twitter: #PickoftheBrownBag.

The two well-dressed people in white we met in the debut of Charlie’s Angels return to kidnap Charlie.

It’s a puzzle to me how the agents managed to find Charlie Townsend’s address.  That was a big deal in the Charlie’s Angels film, but so be it.  We'll just argue that the agents operate with better intelligence sources than Eric Knox.

In any case, one of the agents must be an incredible mimic, for soon, somebody is imitating Charlie and sending the Angels on a devil's errand.  No.  Once again, I have no shame.

The Angels waylay innocent stewardesses for what they believe to be the greater good, but Jill Munroe notes their  change in direction.  The other Angels dismiss it under the heading of a desperate situation.  The incongruities in their mission however keep piling up.

Their target doesn’t fit his profile.  This leads to an epic fail for feminine wiles.  

Mr. Bryce Steele in fact only acts when genuinely concerned.

Kelly is down in the dumps because she gave her heart to one of their clients, Ted Gardner, and he seemed to reciprocate   Little does Kelly know that the unfriendly agents smacked him out of commission as well.

Bryce's attention facilitates the Angels' infiltration of a high class party hosted by a Vienna Count.

Here it appears Bryce is trading U.S. secrets for filthy lucre. The Angels play rough when it comes to Communist spies.  Real rough.  By the time the night is over, Bryce will be in severe pain, and the Angels will know that they've been had.

Charlie’s Angels offers the reader an undemanding story with excellent artwork.  The tone fits the television series, but the action content goes above and beyond the threshold then allowed by Standards and Practices.  

Green Hornet concludes its first arc with Mulan Kato in the title role.  It’s a surprising issue in more ways than one.  The narrator for example is neophyte character but experienced Daily Sentinel reporter Tai.  

Britt and Mulan took her into their confidence.  She is now aware of the ruse perpetuated by the Green Hornet.

So is Oko, the weird vigilante that caught the Green Hornet and Kato.  Britt is in the guise of Kato, for those not in the know.  Oko is not what he seems and worked maniacally hard to preserve his disguise, but is he truly the villain? 

The Espada, a world-hungry organization of lunatics, attack the Hornet while in Oko's custody.  They think it will be an easy kill, but they didn't count on the circle of vengeance.

Last issue, Clutch, the Green Hornet's engineer not to mention cousin, appeared to die in a bomb blast.  So, his friends take this moment to exact their pounds at the same time Espada attempt to adminster the coup de grace.  

The art is like a storyboard for a terrific new Green Hornet television series.  This grand finale would be a fantastic martial arts extravaganza on the tube.  As it is, it’s still pretty impressive.

The cover says it all.  So, there’s no use trying to hide the spoilers.  The Stepford Cuckoos, seek X-23’s DNA in an effort to save their dying sister.  One of them already passed.

The Cuckoos lead Laura and her clone sister Gabby into a trap.  Their formidable psychic powers smash into Laura, but she manages to clip the birds' wings.  The Cuckoos anticipated Laura's willpower.  As planned, the strange sisters get away with Gabby.

The Cuckoos are nutty and desperate, but not necessarily evil in their aims.  They really have no other motive other than to help their sister.  It makes them more sympathetic than they behave normally, which is interesting characterization.

Before the main plot begins, new writer Mariko Tamaki demonstrates the importance of sisterhood and pancakes.  

Laura delivers on her promise.  The pancakes not the stabbing.  Breakfast conversation revolves around Laura's birthday.  Laura does not care for birthdays and doesn't see the importance.  Gabby skews opposite, and promises to wear Laura down.  Tamaki started the birthday thread last issue.  The theme allows for serial comedy and artist Juann Cabal flexing his expressive muscles.

Mr. and Mrs. X is Kelly Thompson’s masterpiece.  I say this with a lifelong disdain for Gambit.  She made me consider Gambit as something other than a sweaty, scuzzy, sleazy dude with a weird, funky accent.  No, Gambit doesn’t represent all Creole people.  He doesn’t represent any.

I stopped being an X-Men fan the moment John Byrne left the book.  I popped in here and there, and whenever I bumped into Gambit, I just wanted to take a shower.  There’s just no other way to describe my immediate dislike of the guy.  

All that said.  I didn’t change my opinion of Gambit until Tom Taylor brought him into All-New Wolverine.  Taylor dared to argue that Gambit isn't always on the make.  He can be trusted.  He is here to help.  Then, I encountered him in Charles Soule’s Astonishing X-Men, and he seemed like a decent enough hero.  I don't however believe my maturity changed my opinion of Gambit.  Gambit changed.

So, it’s just the past of Gambit that makes my skin crawl.  I guess he’s a a lot like the duality of Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader.  Anakin was a shitty human being that sliced and diced little Jedi kids because he believed it was the only way to keep fucking Padme Amidala.  On the other hand, I genuinely like Darth Vader.  He’s a badass flunky that becomes an enforcer of petty revenge and softens to Dad before he dies.  I honestly do not see any connection between Anakin and Darth Vader, even if they are one in the same.  Ditto for Gambit nouveau and suck-ass Gambit from the past.

Illustrator Oscar Baltazar makes Gambit visually palatable.  In fact, he infuses cuteness to every character.  Mr. and Mrs. X as a result looks like a cartoon in the vein of Don Bluth.  When the scene shifts to the honeymoon, it becomes a sexy cartoon.

Thompson’s story is basically a lark that hits comedy beats in the dialogue and plays on the traditions of marriage.  It’s a feel-good story, where villain/antagonist/who knows Mystique drops in for her daughter’s most important day and fights no one.  

So, here’s how off I am on X-Men mythology.  I didn't know Rogue is actually Mystique's daughter.  I also did not know that the Powers That Be went with Chris Claremont’s idea of Nightcrawler being Mystique’s relation.  In this case a son.  Thompson gives Nightcrawler a good joke regarding his likeness to his mother.  

A buddy recently explained that Mystique is long-lived enough to have two adult kids and still look like a blue dream come true.  Rogue knows her mother of old and imagines amusing meta scenarios that Mystique promises not to engage in.

This moment is utterly brilliant and hilarious, especially for a knowledgeable comic book reader.  Anyway.  Gambit and Rogue, really marry, and it’s off to the honeymoon with an energetic pair of newlyweds.  

Rogue absorbs power through body-to-body contact.  So a happy wedding night requires a power suppression collar.  The kicker is that as Rogue experiences pleasure, she also feels pain.

Here’s how I know that Kelly Thompson worked a miracle.  Gambit pairing up with Rogue used to be one of my least favorite things to see in comics.  It's right below Nightwing unloading his angst on Batman.  Rogue using a collar to have sex with Gambit is an extreme measure, but I didn’t mind this at all.  I didn’t find Rogue’s need for a collar demeaning.  She’s very clearly making a choice.  It’s Gambit.  

My change in opinion about Remmy and Rogue has nothing to do with the their alleged legitimacy because of the marriage.  I’m an atheist and a liberal thinker.  Sex is a good thing between consenting adults whether married or not.  Thompson sincerely believes these two should be together, and she coveys that sincerity better than anybody else.  That's why this whole potential nightmare scenario radiates the opposite effect.

As any comic reader can tell you, superhero happy occasions, literally and figuratively, don’t last.  This one is no different.

Thompson still puts a light spin to it.  Rogue and Gambit had a reasonably long honeymoon superhero-wise, but it's not long before Mr. and Mrs. X go on their first mission as spouses.  They must secure a hostage held by traditional X-Men antagonist jackasses.  Hint.  Nothing to do with Mystique.

The first issue of Infinity Wars sets the stage with a team-up, sort-of between Adam Warlock and Stephen Strange.  Together, they enter the realm of the Soul Gem to discover something wicked this way comes.  Writer Gerry Duggan also hints at why this is an Infinity War when Adam Warlock suggests to Stephen that he safe-keep his time stone.  Dr. Strange politely balks with what is essentially "You and what army?" Meanwhile, Thanos enters the picture briefly with the Chitauri army, and in a surprising move, Duggan explains how Thanos ended up in Thor.

It's really too soon to recommend or dis Infinity Wars.  Fans of Mike Deodato will not be disappointed, unless they lean more toward his illustration of female characters.  There's only one, and she's covered in body armor.  Dr. Strange and Warlock fans need this book in their collection.  I suppose there must be one Thanos fan out there.  So, you too might want to consider Infinity Wars.  However, Duggan isn't as slap-happy here as he is in Guardians of the Galaxy, who do not show up at all.  The story is pretty thin and mostly setup with no easter eggs that I can detect.  So, do a flip through on this one.  Decide which kind of fan you are. 

This is my last issue of Doomsday Clock.  I really wanted to stick with the series, but it's just dragging its metaphorical feet and offers little in return to the DC reader.  Especially one now invested in the New 52.

A Watchmen fan may feel differently, but nothing in subsequent issues matched the dramatic friction between Batman and Rorschach.  

Last chapter Batman fought Watchman Adrian Veidt in The Night Owl's airship.  Veidt got the upper hand and ejected Batman.  No worries.

Batman simply shot a grappling hook and swung to safety.  However, the protesting people of Gotham bore him down.  Why are the Gothamites protesting? Turning against Batman? 

The Superman Theory posits the government created most superheroes.  The government lied to us! These heroes aren't happy accidents or dedicated to truth, justice and peace for all human kind.  

Historically, this is rubbish. 

For that reason, The Superman Theory is difficult to accept as a prime motivating factor for civil unrest.  I stated that it's a poor man's Legends, and I stick by the description.  

The artifice allows Batman to be defeated rather than simply reassume his edge against the Watchmen.  Why Batman hasn't hit his Justice League signal device is anybody's guess.  He should at least be contacting Superman or the Flash.  Walter Kovacs was the original Rorschach.   Thanks to Waylon Jones the second Rorschach, Batman possesses Kovacs' journal.  Kovacs should have described the Comedian's badge.  In Rebirth, the Button shot into the Batcave's wall when Wally West manifested from beyond time and space.  Since that moment, Batman and the Flash teamed up to solve the mystery of the Button.

The Watchmen seek to save their earth, which is under threat of nuclear holocaust.  Desperate times necessitate that the Watchmen team with two of their enemies: Mime and Marionette.  The villains agree because they want to find their child.

The current Doomsday Clock is all about Mime and Marionette.  Their origin.  Their shared history.  Their love story.  

Yes.  They get down, and you know what.  I don’t give a flying fig about Mime and Marionette.  Not a fig.  Even less of a fig than I care about most villains.  

Anybody expecting a repeat of the nudity from the original Watchmen will be disappointed.  Taking the span of one tiny panel, the lovemaking is all in silhouette.  Pun not intended.

Rebirth gave the writers and artists an opportunity to restore some of the things that the New 52 reset.  For example, Green Arrow and Black Canary are together again, but the Arrow isn't a dick.  The original Teen Titans' memories are in conflict with reality.  Nevertheless, they decide that they're friends and band together out of respect for those memories.  Tom King writes Batman.  The list goes on and nobody gets crippled for twenty-five years in the process. 

Overall Doomsday Clock tries to be very dark.  You have scenes such as Superman eavesdropping but in a very spooky way thanks to the realistic art of Gary Frank.

Ironically, the villains contrast this essay.  The Joker and his ilk hide out in the sewer because of the Superman Theory.  I suppose the argument is that if the government created superheroes, it stands to reason that they also created super villains.  

Historically this is rubbish.

The characterization of the villains doesn't fit one DC continuity.  The Joker is positively bouncy. 

The Joker also looks like a standard lunchbox Joker.  Joker's dialogue reads like Mark Hamill's delivery.  Don't get me wrong.  The traditional look of the Joker is valid, and I love Mark Hamill's Joker.  I'm betting with different inflection, Hamill could properly voice Tom King's restorative Joker.  That's not what I'm getting here.  The Joker doesn't try to kill Batman.  He's wheeling him around.  He's more lethal to his henchmen than innocents.

The Riddler is Frank Gorshin.  I love Frank Gorshin’s Riddler, but this isn’t the New 52 A Clockwork Orange Riddler.  Sonar has a say.  Sonar? I haven’t seen Sonar since Bronze Age Justice League of America.  The MODOK looking fellow is Hector Hammond who does look like the New 52 version.  Dr. Psycho and Giganta are Wonder Woman villains, but each comes from two different eras.  Giganta is a Super-Friends alum more than anything else.  Dr. Psycho in that form is a post-Crisis antagonist.

My point is there’s a lot on the DC side that doesn’t add up.  I'm not a fan of Watchmen, and I find myself trying to figure where things are coming from more than enjoying the dialogue or the overall plot.  For that reason, I’m calling time on Doomsday Clock  

Justice League Dark is innocuous and meaningless.  Every few mediocre issues of the previous mostly good volumes of Justice League Dark were better than this debut.  

The story begins with Zatanna casting a spell to pull a rabbit out a hat.  Things go wrong.

Pulling a rabbit out of a hat is a classic trick performed by mere mortal magicians that lack the backward-speak powers of Zatanna.  I’m puzzled why she felt the need to to employ actual magic.

Uses it she does, and the spell goes horribly wrong.  She in addition to a dead rabbit, calls up a monster.

‘Roh No!

Fortunately Wonder Woman is nearby.  Perhaps she was in the audience.  Diana mitigates the damage with her unusual bravado and warrior skill.  

Zatanna attempts to help, but her spell casting doubles-down on the danger.  Z eventually figures a way out of this mess, and it convinces her that Wonder Woman is right.  Magic is broken, and together they must fix it.

Nope.  That would actually be productive.  Instead, the book meanders off down two paths.  We follow Zatanna to Winters Gate, the supernatural estate of Baron Winters and the Night Force, which you might recall from a preview in Teen Titans.  Because there’s no way in hell you actually bought and read a full issue of Night Force.

Before Zatanna joins her magical comrades, John Constantine shows up.  It’s the law.

Subsection Five of the Houdini Code.  Should a cabal of magicians gather to discuss but not fight a magical threat, John Constantine must visit the scruff of the fellowship.  He must light up if not already smoking and say something vague and/or mysterious before disappearing.

I give the artist credit for mistaking John as one of the Winchester Brothers from Supernatural.  The error at least grants visual novelty.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen Constantine in formal black and with a Chevy Impala.  Perhaps he slept with one of bros and jacked it.

Meanwhile Wonder Woman commiserates at the Oblivion Bar.  What you’ve never heard of the Oblivion Bar?  The deuce you say.

Psst.  I’ve never heard of it either.

Created by John Broome and Carmine Infantino, Detective Chimp was a chimpanzee that helped Florida Sheriff Edward Chase solve local crime much in the same way Scooby-Doo aids Mystery Inc.  Bobo’s mostly pleasant adventures ran in the 1950s as a back-up feature in Rex the Wonder Dog.  You may have perused them in reprints in the 100 page editions of Detective Comics or Tarzan.

Somewhere down the line, the writers monkeyed around with Detective Chimp so that not only is he an immortal, but also capable of speech and prone to wear a full Sherlock Holmes outfit rather than just the hat.  He’s basically DC’s Rocket Raccoon who we learn once had the misfortune of being paired with two-issue wonder The Nightmaster.

Wonder Woman and Detective Chimp go to another pocket of the Hall of Justice to meet the third member of their team.

Kirk Langstrom.  He began as a Batman fanatic created by Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams.  Batman found a cure for the mania that Langstrom acquired when he took his Man-Bat formula.  Kirk re-engineered the serum to become Man-Bat but retained his marbles.  

So as with Detective Chimp, some post-Crisis writers saw Man-Bat differently.  Bringing back the nutso and ignoring everything else.  Now, he’s back trying to be a hero and paying his dues in the Justice League.  Man-Bat is really Hank Pym.  Not the cinematic Hank Pym.  The other one.

Meanwhile, Zatanna hypocritically pesters Swamp Thing, who’s literally keeping an eye on magical illumanti such as Jason Blood and has-beens like the Twilight version of Andrew Bennett…Okay.  What the hell is Dr. Occult doing here.  He deserves better.

Swamp Thing shambles for double-duty in Scooby-Doo Team-Up.  It’s a very slight detective story by Sholly Fisch,  but still worthy of attention.

Fisch pokes good natured fun of Len Wein's purple prose in the opening shot.  He then uses one of Alan Moore’s characters in an elegant manner.

The hippie chum of Swamp Thing Chester makes an easy to  snap-together relative for Shaggy.  Chester called Mystery Inc. to investigate people gone missing in the bayou.

It’s no spoiler to say that the culprit is the Voodoo Queen.  Fisch must be credited with his portrayal of bona fide zombies.

Despite the many times Fred, Daphne and Velma try to assuage Shaggy’s and Scooby's fears with facts, they simply cannot break through their shields of terror.  

Bokhur, your basic bad witch doctor, create zombies for revenge and slave labor using potions that are combinations of natural poisons.  Unfortunately, the exposure usually causes permanent brain damage.  This explains the victims’ confused and diminished state.

Two brilliant twists in the plot drop the Gang into the stew.  Swamp Thing, who takes the position of watcher as he did in early stories, neatly solves one problem.  Swampy's power also completely and plausibly reverses the zombification process.  Dr. Holland takes a more physical approach to intervene again, and this battle against a surprise guest villain recalls the far too underrated Swamp Thing film.

Dario Brizuela has my vote if DC ever creates an all-ages Swamp Thing book.  I know.  An all-ages Swamp Thing Book, I mean how would the writers get around such things as Abigail Arcane.

Quite easily as it turns out.

The conclusion to Mera Queen of Atlantis is a visually stunning duel illustrated by Lan Medina, Norm Rapmund and and Veronica Gandini.  Will our combatants sign in please.

At risk? The allegiance of Xebel, an underwater kingdom of bellicose isolationists and the integrity of Tula, Regent of Atlantis.  

Ocean Master promised Tula to King Nereus should he be victorious.  This indentured sexual servitude was the destiny of old royalty, meant to broker peace between domains.

Orm thought it a good idea to bring back the practice and pimped out his sister.  This is hypocrisy of the lowest order.  Orm found what he believed to be genuine love on the surface world.

Mera is a modern queen and a modern woman.  She’s not going to stand for such barbarism.  This isn't bloody Game of Thrones.

What happens? You’ll need to buy the book to find out the rest of the story.  I will say this.  Read Mera before Aquaman.

Aquaman ends his story on a strong note that pits Aquaman and his allies against Corum Rath.  The difference is that now Aquaman is willing to up his game a little.  Sacrifice heroism for practicality.

He still finds an imaginative solution to the problem that doesn’t involve killing, but make no mistake, at the end of this issue, the reign of Corum Rath is done.  Queen Mera will take the Throne.

The Dark Abyss, which possessed Rath and turned him into a fish-monster, takes its revenge against Aquaman in a curious way that sets up the next story arc.

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Dan Abnett concludes Aquaman in a way that you really don't expect.  Corum Rath began as a Trump-like usurper.  Murk, a watery Klingon loyal to the throne but not one king, seemed to kill Aquaman, and acted as if he had.  That turned out to be an oscar-winning performance.  As more and more of the Royal Court turned against Rath, for their own selfish reasons, he made a deal with the Dark Abyss.  The Dark Abyss turned Rath inside out.  His ideals manifest as a monster, and that's where we find Aquaman right now.

Aquaman is more than a match for humanoid Rath, but not Lovecraft horror Rath.  Even with the newly revamped Dolphin's aid, Aquaman seems to be soggy toast.

I've seen some online remarks about Dolphin being attracted to Aquaman.  I don't see that at all.  Dolphin is essentially Aquaman's Robin.  She's his squire.  The following scene for example is intimate but not sexual.  It's a reflection of Rogue One's finale.

That's far more apropos given the nature of the conflict running through Abnett's run of Aquaman.  Is this the end of Aquaman and Dolphin?  Do they die together as warriors? A fitting end, but because of what occurs in Mera Queen of Atlantis a precluded finish.

If this were Doctor Who I'd say that Mera went back in time to rewrite history.  Her arrival is that momentous, that devastating to Rath's triumph, yet the book is called Aquaman for a reason.  Abnett bolsters Mera without undermining Aquaman in a damn fine finale that should be witnessed rather than spoilt.