POBB April 17, 2019

Pick of the Brown Bag

April 17, 2019

by

Ray Tate

I actually considered putting up a “gone fishing” sign in place of a full blog.  

The books this week were honestly pretty damn boring.  The exceptions being Miles Morales Spider-Man and James Bond.  

I’m going to give props to Fair Lady and Infinity 8 for at least being somewhat interesting if not arresting.  

This issue of West Coast Avengers was also the best chapter of the vampire story, but on the whole I didn’t like the vampire reveal.

In the meantime, if you haven’t the time for these fuller reviews.  Check me out on Twitter: #PickoftheBrownBag.

Aquaman is freaking gorgeous.  You make this an oversized art book and take out all the words, and I’ll buy it again.  Seriously.  

You’ve got Robson Rocha illustrating divine dragons, that I’m betting have nothing to do with Game of Thrones.

Oh how I wish the waters really were unspoken.  The dragon even gets better.  It trisects in an homage to Ghidorah.  

You’ve got a blue exotic lady with horns.  Oooo!  She’s sprouted wings too.

A whole pantheon of new watery deities swim to Aquaman’s side.

The least interesting thing about the book is the story itself.  Aquaman’s memory loss is unimportant.  His Aquaman powers allow him to score victory.  So, his amnesia is irrelevant.

Kelly Sue DeConnick’s external world-creation mythology and the Cailleach would actually work without Aquaman so long as Robson Rocha, Danielle Henriques and Sunny Cho illustrated.

One Knightmare too many in Batman.  This issue visually is a dance between Batman and Catwoman, and it’s a great showcase for Yanick Paquette.  

As Batman twirls Catwoman around, her costume changes to reflect the years they’ve been dancing together.  Trouble is it all seems too familiar.  

We’ve seen this before in past issues of Tom King’s Batman.  Those scenes were cool because the change in uniform was sudden and meaningful.  King reiterated Golden Age and Silver Age continuity and incorporated it back into the mythos.

Alongside the dance, King reveals the Big Bad behind Batman’s Knightmares.  It's a wtf type of revelation.  Let’s say you hypothetically want to prevent Bruce Wayne from being Batman, for his own good.  Okay.  So, precluding his happiness helps you how?  Trapping him in dreamland pushes your plans forward in what way?

Ultimately what you’re going to end up with is a seriously pissed off Batman whose rage is going to cut through your operations like a hot knife through butter.

Fairlady is a new book from Image that boasts to: contain a complete Fairlady mystery.”  Yes, and no.  It’s definitely self-contained.  It’s definitely a detective story involving a missing person.  

It’s not a fair-play mystery.  You cannot solve it.  The unfamiliar fantasy/science fiction setting precludes sleuthing.   Nevertheless.  This is an interesting book.  

It’s not a knock your socks off type.  It’s quiet and methodical because writer/co-creator Brian Schirmer is shooting for Raymond Chandler transposition.  

As is common with some private eye media, Schirmer begins the story somewhere near the end.  The tale drifts back to the beginning, introducing Jenner Faulds, presumably the Fairlady, and her partner Oanu, of the Jessu species.  

We won’t call him a feline since that’s apparently a touchy subject.  Faulds and Oanu interview contacts to trace leads.  This includes staples from the detective novel just in new forms.

When Faulds and Oanu eventually track down the missing embezzler, they find a transformation that also presents a weird mirror image to the genre. 

From beginning to end, Schirmer’s story is a clever reinterpretation of the tried and true.  Art by Claudia Balboni and Marissa Louise presents an art noveau tinged science fantasy pulp that’s always pleasing to the eye.

This can also be said of Infinity 8.  Artist Martyn Trystram spreads a plethora of aliens and odd humans across the Infinity 8.  

The story is somewhat the same as all of Infinity 8.  The alien captain can rewind time eight times.  The ship encountered and is encountering an alien debris field.  It just can’t escape from it.

The first volume was straight up pulp with a sharp-witted, sharp-tongued protagonist.  The second added social and historical commentary, this time with a self-absorbed but effective agent.  I plainly did not enjoy the last volume of Infinity 8, “The Gospel According to Emma.”  The main character was a thoroughly unlikeable zealot/imbecile.  

Major Patty Zimmerman is far more agreeable, dedicated and honest.  

The Captain pulled her from undercover work in the Symbolic Guerrillas; what seems to be a benign musical group, entourage and fans, but may actually be a terrorist organization.

Writer Lewis Trondheim portrays Patty with a relishing single-mindedness, but that's only one side of Major Zimmerman.  When Patty discovers the secrets of the alien object, she reveals another facet to her personality.  

Patty can experience a sense of wonder.  Her awe is justified because although we see a myriad of species and outré alien formations, the elegance and idea behind the conclusion of the chapter defies expectation and presents beauty that’s instinctive. 

I’m trying to think of a reason why this Robert Downey Jr. moment is the only moment worth sharing.  My feeling is that Dan Slott just did too much in Iron Man.  His ambition got the better of him.  It started as a return match against a goofy villain who turned out to be just a little cleverer than first thought.  It became another Tony Stark fuck-up leading to sensory overload and way, way too many characters to keep track of. 

James Bond once again divides the story evenly between its star and new character John Lee, a Korean agent and the new Oddjob.  John seeks to free a fellow agent from the mind-controlling grip of the evil organization ORU.  This is good stuff all around.  Lee teams with Bond, but the Australian Secret Service capture James and and leave him in the clink.

Always fun when the hero’s captured by rival friendlies.  Love the smirk by artist Steven Mooney.  It’s so suitable.  As the story continues, M tasks Bond to kill Lee for his duplicity, but Bond’s not a good boy.

Considered and called a blunt instrument, Bond is anything but.  Bond frequently disobeys orders for the sake of justice.  He refuses to kill though so sanctioned.  He saves the girl at the cost of the mission numerous times.  He seeks revenge.  He threw away his suicide capsules long ago.  In this issue, Pak demonstrates why James Bond is a legend.

Nightwing should really be called Nightwings.  Red Hood crossed out and the Outlaws.  Though I do keep referring to the book that way.  In any case, the events in Batman bled over to Nightwing.  Dick Grayson no longer remembers his life, and he tried to stress the point by burning his gear and hideout.  

He didn’t succeed, and a trio of Bludhaven detectives and a firefighter friend took his costumes and his equipment to become…well, it’s obvious.  The Scarecrow showed up with a jones to kill Nightwing who he knows to be the original Robin.  However, Crane never glommed onto the fact that his amnesiac patient whom he genuinely helped was in fact his target.  Ric Grayson as he likes to call himself, joined the Nightwings and started to backslide into the hero business; albeit with a stupid look.

Yeah, baby!  Street clothes and grease on my face.  I mean come on.  This "disguise" is just dandy for an impromptu rescue of the Nightwings when they found themselves outmatched by Scarecrow, but this is your look?  At least wear a helmet or special shades for pity’s sake.  Ric’s basically Nightwing with a poorer dress sense and the cheapest mask possible.  

That said, this isn’t the worst book I’ve read from Dan Jurgens.  Ric gets some training from firefighter Nightwing Hutch, and much is made about this muscle memory which gives him preternatural acrobatic and fighting ability. 

On the other hand, why is he here? He’s supposed to be starting a new life with a pretty bartender he fell for, not reliving the old one.  Anyway, we get some background on Hutch and a new villain.  If that floats your boat, go for it.  Otherwise, skip.

Mary Shelley Monsterhunter was a real disappointment because Adam Glass in this first issue treads old history.  Mary and Percy Shelley with Lord Byron challenge each other to a horror-story writing contest.  Mary beats them hands down with her strange story Frankenstein.  This just needed to be more original.  Perhaps the forthcoming issues will break new ground.

This is my first normal issue of Miles Morales Spider-Man.  Last issue was a comedy homage to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  Here, we see Miles doing Spidey things, such as battle groups of warring gangs.

React to his Spider-Sense, crack-wise, web the crap out of bad guys and fight off eighties Spider-Man villain Tombstone, all energetically written by Saladin Ahmed and illustrated by Javier Garron.

Miles Morales is truly Spider-Man reinvented.  It’s the book for people who know the basics about Spider-Man and none of the astounding amount of continuity that Peter Parker amassed over the years.

That’s not to say that Miles is synonymous with young Peter.  Rather as in real life, we all share certain similarities and differences that unite us and distinguish us.  Reading Miles Morales is like reading updated original Spider-Man stories.  It's also different because Miles is different.  His friends are different.  His girlfriend is different.  He lacks an Aunt May, a J.Jonah Jameson.  He’s a student and a kid, not a photographer science genius.  He’s upbeat.  Most important.  He lacks the guilt that weighs down upon the original Spider-Man.  He’s the carefree Spidey just trying to be friendly and keeping his neighborhood safe.

Marvel Boy sought Kate Bishop to investigate a Skrull nest hidden behind a cult.  The trouble is they’re not Skrulls.  They’re vampires, and they think Miss America is the Chosen One.  As soon as West Coast Avengers revealed the vampire twist, I lost interest.  I don’t even know why vampires exist in the Marvel Universe.  Why they exist in any superhero universe.

DC uncharacteristically explained the lack of vampires in its Post-Crisis universe by publishing a John Byrne/Chris Claremont Justice League story called “The Tenth Circle.”  Basically, the answer is the Justice League destroyed them.  Anyway.  Marvel’s got vampires, and West Coast Avengers is lousy with them leading me to a question involving the outing of a half-vampire character.  

What exactly is a half-vampire?  That doesn’t even make sense.  You either are a vampire or you’re not.  You’ve been inflicted or not.  Vampires are make believe, and you can write your own rules, but I just don’t see how half-vampires can work.  

Vampires are undead monsters that drain you or turn you into them.  No, I don’t get Blade either.  So don’t even.  Angel and Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are human souls piloting vampire husks.  They’re not half-vampire in any sense.  When Angel drank Buffy’s blood to supercharge himself for a coming battle, Buffy didn’t become half-vampire.  She stayed Buffy, stayed Slayer because Angel didn’t turn her. 

Vampires used to be impotent; their fangs stood in for their privates, but over the years, that paradigm changed.  So let’s assume that a vampire impregnated a lady. Her offspring could be half-vampire, I guess, yet it still doesn’t make sense unless the vampire was alive to begin with.  Morbius for example, the living vampire could in theory sire a half-vampire.  You can’t just become one is what I’m saying.